CHAPTER TWO: Suicide

London was the best place if you were planning a suicide, I thought perversely. My mental list consisted of jumping from the tallest building in the city, Drowning, Burning, and Starvation. All of these things easily accessible in London with tall buildings, A big ocean right by it, many witch burnings, and plenty of people to not eat. I'm sure some sort of stabbing would be on the list, but I was sure if a stake wouldn't do it, not much else would. It pained me somewhat to dwell on such masochistic topics, it wasn't in my nature to dwell on evil or bad thoughts. But this situation was dire, and required that I have the strength to end myself and my thirst for human blood. It was more helpful knowing how much I needed to avoid people, but after that first scent the thirst stayed no matter where I was. My throat was dry, and if I so much as thought of the scent venom would flow in my mouth. It was abominable.

The first thing on my deranged list was jumping from a great heights. I was staring at the tallest building in London. I just had to climb it. I didn't want to go inside where there were people around, and climb from inside. But scanning the outside I could see I was just going to have to use determination to get me up the building. I walked in the doorway holding my breath, so that the scent might not enter my head. After a minute I didn't get short of breath still so I just kept holding it. Not breathing. I climbed up the rickety staircases inside that led to the top and hoped there would be some kind of trapdoor leading to the roof. I was still able to hold my breath by the time I got to the last staircase. I no longer needed to breathe in this unnatural life either. I scanned the ceiling for a sign of a trap door, and found one lying a little way from the staircase. Why had they chosen to place it there of all places? They should have known a foul newborn vampire would come looking to kill himself from the roof. I checked below. To make sure no one was watching from below, the prepared to make a jump for the string and then haul myself from there. It was surprisingly easy for me to do that, actually, so when I was on the roof I walked to the south side-less people- and thought joyfully, this sick and lonely world is over now, no human or animal could survive this fall. I jumped, well leaped really, from the side of the building and just enjoyed the fall. I hit the ground with a thud. Why? I was in despair. I was indestructible, and I hated it. I was perfectly unscathed, and I was disappointed. I devotedly followed my list of suicidal possibilities, and all were useless. I was impenetrable even in the hottest of fires, and I didn't need to inhale and exhale like anything normal in this world so drowning hadn't worked either. The last was starvation. This had to work. Vampires needed blood. There were some things I knew absolutely about this world. I'd been studying it for years. I need blood to survive. I can't live in sun…That was it! No vampire can survive sun. I just had to wait for a sunny day here in Britain, and walk out. All this turmoil, when it was really that simple!