That got her quiet. She knew I was right. I didn’t know what was going on her mind anymore. “Jessica, we used to be so close. Why is it that you don’t seem to trust me anymore. Am I just another person to you and not your friend anymore??” I was crying now.

“Bella…” she was crying too…

“Jess. How can we be friends if you don’t believe me??” I started. This was really hurting me. I couldn’t believe that she could actually believe that I was flirting with Edward when we were just talking??

“I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you because I thought that it was obvious…” she looked down.

“It wasn’t.”  I said coldly.

“I’m really sorry.” She said.

“Okay. So now, I’m supposed to stay away from Edward??” I asked. I knew I couldn’t but I would try because my friendship with Jessica was more important to me.

“Please??” she begged. “I can’t help but think that he would fall in love with you.”

“Oh, please. There’s hardly anything good about me. I'm really worried that no one would auction me.

“Pffft. I bet you have one third of the school wrapped up in your little finger.” She giggled and I couldn’t help but giggle too.

——

I got home and my chest felt really heavy for some reason. I got to my room and just lay down. I wanted to feel relieved. But I knew that I wasn’t.

I don’t want to feel alone and broken… broken?? Was that how I felt now?? Broken?? Why was I broken?? Because… I couldn’t give my time to Edward anymore?? There’s no way to make this easy. Maybe we should go back to our fighting ways. Stop all the talking and go back to the ignorance and annoyance.

I couldn’t do that. I just told myself that I didn’t want to lose the friendship and trust I was getting from Edward. It is really important to me but Jessica was important too. I didn’t want to lose her just because of some guy…

A guy with those topaz eyes. Those deep beautiful topaz eyes. How could I not look into them and lose all my will. I will crumble before a second passes by if I see those eyes of his. Those miraculous, secret-filled eyes of his.

And his voice. His velvet voice that could make any singer insecure about their voice. When he would call my name, how ill I resist to look at him and remember all the reasons why I didn’t want to lose this forming friendship of ours??

How am I supposed to do this??

Okay Bella we will have some rules and you better follow them.

One. NEVER look into his eyes.

Two. Think of his voice as ordinary.

And Three. Always remember that your friendship with Jess is more important.

I could feel it. This was going to be hard. Just imagining those eyes, and voice is already making me anxious to see him.

God, help me. And Edward, please don’t be mad at me were the last things I remember thinking before I dozed off.