Feet pumping into the ground, I let tears flow. With no control over any of my emotions right now, my thoughts darted in-between memories. Each thought pushed down worst than the last. Sweat glistened on my forehead. The images around me were only a blur as I passed by them. It wasn’t suppose to be like this. It was suppose to be different. But it isn’t.

By now the school building had disappeared, and new figures now crowded my site. My legs ached and my throat dried. But no matter how badly I wanted to stop, I wanted to keep going even more. Call me a coward for running away, but I honestly don’t care anymore.

When my body couldn’t take it anymore, I watched myself on the sidelines collapse into a heap. I had no idea where I was. My vision didn’t stay put long enough for me to make out any figures at all. Squeezing my eyes shut, I felt the dizziness spin through my head, echoing into my thoughts. Voices ran through my mind screaming and enforcing every little insecurity, to the point where it became almost unbearable to keep my eyes closed. Opening them finally, I let the sunlight pour in and make sense of my surroundings. The fresh cut grass, the newly painted ground, I was at the soccer field. It was only then that I noticed I wasn’t alone. Another figure laid besides me panting for air.

“Ash?” I asked hesitantly sitting up and shaking her slightly.

“Stop running,” she shouted her eyes still tightly shut.

“But I’m not running,” I replied confused. I watched her open her eyes and sit up.

“Holy shit, why the hell do you run so fast?” I was finally feeling the full effects of crashing from my adrenaline rushes. It felt like gravity and turned it up a notch, or seven.

“Sorry,” I mumbled picking at the grass.

“What the hell was that anyways Spence?”

“What?” I asked playing dumb. Ok so now really wasn’t the time to play dumb. Obviously I knew what she was talking about. Her face reflected my thoughts exactly. “I don’t know,” I sighed.

“Spencer,” was all she said before giving me a look I didn’t expect to see. After all I’ve been putting her through, and the vagueness, I expected to see anger. But instead all I saw was sadness.

“There’s a lot of shit I’m just trying to process right now. Madison, Madison was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“What are you trying to process?”

“Alyssa’s coming down Thursday,” I gave up. Ok, so there’s a few other things I haven’t told you as well. But for now we’re going to keep that under wraps. When I looked at her face it just conveyed confusion.

“Alyssa, Alyssa Ryan?”

“That’s the one,” I stated reluctantly. “It’s like a fucken reoccurring nightmare.” No, it’s worse than that. It’s a reoccurring past.

“What are you going to do?”

“That’s the problem,” I exhaled. “I don’t know.” I watched her think as we sat there in silence. “Ash are we alright?”

“I just wish you’d stop lying to me Spence,” Ashley replied. “But yeah we’re alright.”

“Do you want to go back?”

“Sure, but can we walk this time?” she laughed lightening the mood.

“I’m am all for walking,” I replied getting up and pulling her up with me.

When I pulled her up, I took her hand and placed it over my heart.

“You have my heart Ashley Davies. Please don’t break it,” I stated repeating the very words she once told me. I watched her smile in response.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she replied grabbing my hand and taking a hold of it. I felt the thoughts in my head breath and relax with me. I know I need to stop lying to her. But for right now I’m just going to concentrate on getting through Thursday. One problem down, one big one to go.