I can’t take this anymore. The pain is too constant and I can’t focus on anything else because it’s just me and my mind in this stupid hospital room more than half the day…two days ago I was in a bombing in Times Square, and now I’m in a hospital with two completely broken legs…

“okay Ashley…how do we feel today?” the doctor asked coming into my room

“in pain” I told her simply

“we can give you an epidural…” she offered

“anything to stop this pain” I said cringing as she looked under the bandages of my legs “how’s it look?” I asked not knowing if I wanted to really know the answer

“no infection…” she told me “…which is what we’re aiming for”

“how long till I get these brackets off?” I asked

“we’ll run you through some xrays going into next week…if the bone is set then we can take them off, but then you’ll be in casts.” She said

“then what the hell is the whole point of having screws in my legs?” I asked upset

“Ashley…” my mom said coming into the room

“no…it’s a good question” the doctor told her “the pins are keeping that bone in place, they’re not healing it…once the legs are in casts then the bones will heal” she told me “I’ll be in here with a nurse to give you an epidural…” she added as she walked out

“when did she say she was giving you an epidural?” my mom asked

“when I told her my legs were killing me so she’s numbing me from the waist down” I told her

“Ashley why didn’t you tell me about this?” she asked

“mom. A steel rod fell onto my legs and I’ll be lucky if I can walk again…all I want to do is not feel my legs…I wish they just took them off” I said crying then Spencer came into the room

“Ashley…” my mom started again

“mom please I don’t want to hear it” I told her then she just walked out of the hospital room and Spencer just looked at me “go on…say it” I told her

“what are you talking about?” she asked me

“I’m a bitch”

“no you’re not…” she told me “…I wouldn’t be acting any better if I were you” she added then the doctor came inside “you know these hurt right?” she asked me