People are strange beings. We complicate things way past their means and we don’t think of it as unusual in the least bit. Animals have sex for one reason and one reason only: to produce offspring with their basic genetic outline. Humans, however, engage in sexual activities for so many reasons. Sometimes, we have sex for pure enjoyment – a release of tension, a boost of confidence or because it just feels amazing. Or we have sex for the cause of love.

I never used to understand the concept of having sex to show that you love someone. I thought of sex as a basic primitive action that took place for the sense of pleasure and nothing else. Sex was something I thought was ugly and somewhat obscene. Even still, it was something I craved after. Something about its ways of imperfect aesthetics made it intensely pleasurable. But how two people could think that love was equal to sex was never something I comprehended.

Ashley did change that for me though. I went into the passionate throws of romance with her and never expected what ended up happening. What was the concept of love making after all? Was there really a difference between it and fucking? All of my questions were answered that night.

There is a difference. When it is just a good fuck session, it is about getting your bases covered. It is about getting off and then getting dressed. But when it is about showing your love, it becomes about them. It feels like the melding of two bodies and hearts into one. No matter how clumsy you or they may be, it all seems perfect.

On the note of humans complicating things: Ashley and I stretch the word ‘complex’ to its fullest extent and border on insanity. I do not mean insane in the sense of mental incapacity for usual human behavior. My connotation in this sense is that Webster can’t define it, Einstein can’t understand it, Beethoven can’t play it out on his piano, Shakespeare never wrote of it and not even Cleo can predict it. It is dramatic enough for television, romantic enough for movies and its complexity makes it perfect for music.

At times it is a roller coaster – sending you up and down and even through a few loops. There are times when it feels like your heart is in the pit of your stomach. There are even times when you feel so close to crossing that line between life and death – it feels like you’re free of intangible chains and yet still breathing. But there are those times when I still lose my breath just by looking at her.