“Ash what if I can’t m…” She blushed and looked down at her hands

“Babe, what’s wrong? You don’t have to, ok?” I gently caressed her cheek.

“No, no… I-I want to, but…” She trailed off.

“But what, honey?”

“Ash, what if I can’t make you…” She blushed and looked down at her hands nervously. “I just- you have experience and I don’t really… what if I’m no good?”

“Aww, baby, I thought we talked about this crying thing.” I wiped the tears from her eyes.

“What if- what if I don’t please you? And-” Silent tears feel down faster than I could wipe them away.

“Spencer, what’s this really about?” I was sitting against the headboard; Spencer sat a little in front of me, like she was praying- head hung over, shoulders slumped. The cool ivory silk sheets pooled around her legs and I remembered thinking that she never looked so innocently beautiful and broken. I placed my hands firmly on her shoulders. “Spencer, look a me.” Her eyes wouldn’t meet mine. I lean forward and down, lilting my. I gingerly pressed my lips against the heartbroken girl’s in front of me. Pulling back I caressed her angelic face with my palm. “You need to tell me what’s wrong.” Finally, troubled blue eyes met mine.

“What if you realize that you don’t love me after?” Came the terrified whisper.

“What? Oh, Spence… what’s going on in that head of yours?” I wrapped her into my arms, feeling her tear stained face pressed against my skin. “Nothing, nothing, could stop me from loving you. You-you don’t even know Spencer. Baby, you’re all I think about. Everyday, before I fall asleep. I dream about you. I need to be with you, but more importantly, I want to be with you. You were the first girl I ever really cared about. You were the first girl I made love to. Baby, you’re my everything. Not some easy hook-up or old fuck buddy. Spencer I love you. Ok? I. Love. You. That means forever. I’ve-I’ve never told that to anyone before, only you. I mean it. I will always love you- together, apart. It doesn’t matter. You’re all that matters to me, you-you always will be all that matters.” I stroked her hair gently as I spilled my guts out, feeling exposed and raw, but it was something I had to do- before we could more forward. I knew things would be hard with us. I mean, just the age difference. Honestly, Spencer’s probably more mature than I am, but she’s still 15. I can’t expect her to fully grow up; I’m still growing up.

I felt her pull away from me, gently. Her eyes met mine and I waited.

“Show me how to love you.” I took her face in my hands and before pressing a kiss to her lips, I whispered, “ok”.

I wrapped my arms around her neck, ready to give up control. To finally let someone have me.

Our lips pressed slowly against each other. We both realized that this couldn’t be rushed. That it had to be slow and passionate and perfect, so perfect we would both fall apart come undone. Our barriers falling away until we were so raw, it hurt. Until we were one heart, one soul. Until there was nothing left between us except pounding hearts. Until it was just us… and nothing else.