“Are you trying to be difficult?”

“I don’t remember.”

“All I’m saying is that you have an atrociously negative outlook on everything. And then you complain when things turn out the way you thought they would. It seems a bit…stupid.”

“Stupid?”

“Yes, a bit elementary when one can’t connect the dots enough to realize when things are actually her fault. When one can’t understand the consequences of a cynical perspective and the power of the mind and its ability to seek what it desires.”

“Stop shrinking me.”

“I’m fathering you, Spence. It’s my job.”

“They both are.”

“That’s it. Look!” my mother screeched, purposely ignorant of the conversation at hand. She gazed like a maniacal child as the camp sign came into view. It was wooden and a bit stereotypical. Paint that at some point had been bright and red was now dull and brown quietly announced that Camp Hollybrook was near.

I felt the slow crawl of anxiety and the increased frequency of my heartbeat as my father turned onto the dirt road that ended at our final destination and began my summer of forced fun and bunk beds.

“Nervous?” my mother asked as she clapped her hands in excited anticipation, “I was so nervous the first time I went to camp.”

“I’m too old for this, mom. I really am.”

“Nonsense. It’s a camp for kids your age. You’ll be with a group of girls that are sixteen just like you. It’ll be wonderful.”

“You have a lot in common already,” my father chimed in.

“Because we’re the same age? Do you know what girls my age talk about?”

“I’m a psychiatrist, Spencer. Of course I do.”

“Spencer Carlin, nice to meet you. I’m Joe and this is my wife, Mary and we’re pleased as punch to have you here this summer. Isn’t that right, ma’am?”

“That’s right, sir!” Mary agreed, tossing her hair back and stomping her foot for emphasis.

Oh my God.

“Now, there are quite a few rules here at camp and we expect that you’ll follow ‘em, of course. But the most important one is that you have fun. We try to make sure that everybody leaves here with a smile on her face and a barrel of laughs and memories. God willing, it’ll be the best summer of your life, Ms. Carlin.”