Paula Carlin laid in bed as sun light drifted into the guest bed room and into her eyes, the blue comforter provided little warmth as she was used to sleeping in a bigger bed with Arthur but lately things have gone down hill. She felt the rise of guilt bouncing in her stomach as she stared up at the ceiling, the feeling had been getting worse and worse since high school graduation neared.

She pulled herself up and headed to her daughter’s room, the pain of yelling last night etched into her throat, leaning in the door frame she smiled at the young girl tangled up in the purple sheets her small fingers constantly twitching against the palm of her hand, a tiny smile gracing her lips and Paula hoped where ever she was in dream land she could be normal.

Paula hated herself for what she’d done to her daughter, she remember the car accident when she was a stupid teenager, drunk off her rocker and thinking it would be so cool to drive drunk down to the corner restaurant for some onion rings, best in town too, since that day she can’t even look at onion rings. Doctors worked for hours but in the end she was told she’d probably never have kids, to say she was devastated could be determined as an understatement. Paula began to drink and party, what use did she have to make a life of herself when she’d have no one to pass it on to.

Arthur tried his best to keep them together but they broke up senior year, graduation came and they got back together with an addition of a bun in the oven. Paula stopped her wild life style when she found out but it was too late she miscarried five months in, this time she kept doing good forcing her self to stay away from the drinking and drugs and Arthur proposed after graduation of community college.

Glancing down she twirled the ring on her left finger, smiling down at the white gold band with her favorite princess cut diamond. Two years later while she was in medical school and Arthur was opening his own business dealing with abused, abandoned and lost children, she asked him if they could try for another child. Arthur didn’t want to see his wife upset yet again if it didn’t work out so insisted on trying to adopt but Paula wanted nothing to do with that she wanted a child the old fashioned way. He obliged and three months later the two were pregnant.