Chapter 3- First Impressions

Bella

First impressions are always the most important. Gran had always told my mother that. Seeing how she behaved in those days, I was surprised to find that it actually rubbed off on her.

I seriously did not understand her. Could not. Especially the carefree, eccentric person that made up who she was. Why did she remain in a situation she so desperately wanted out of? On my part, I saw nothing wrong with Charlie. He and Renee were just not on the same page anymore. Wasn’t that reason enough to separate, if it wasn’t working out? And in any case, it truly did not make any sense for Renee to care what the rest of society would think.

Renee’s true, original personality was slipping away and I was beginning to wonder if something had happened to trigger this. She couldn’t just be changing suddenly! She wasn’t as comical as she used to be, didn’t joke around carelessly with me like when I was smaller. In the kitchen she was more alert on the days our cook was taking off and on the days she wasn’t as well.

Charlie was himself, generally. Less capable of trying to pretend that he was comfortable in such a family-oriented home. He left for work and came back just in time for dinner. I guess he thought that he owed at least that much for Renee. I sat there in silence, watching as their relationship started slipping away in a depressing way, knowing that it wasn’t my place to say anything. Not even to my mother because it was her marriage, after all. And I clearly did not understand anything about relationships to offer advice. I only wondered why her courage had suddenly leaked out, why did she continue to pretend that she was happy just to satisfy her friends and acquaintances?

I was pondering these things one afternoon as I sat curled up on the window seat with my copy of Jane Eyre propped up on my knee. Finishing school- ugh! They were giving us twenty minutes of recess before going back to cramming our brains with French and etiquette. As if we hadn’t had enough of this the past years! One would think that the newest generation of twentieth century women would make more out of, let’s say, career preparation studies than how to keep house. As if I didn’t already know that!