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    Uncivil Union – (Chapter: Confession)

    Story written on October 1, 2008 by goaskalice.
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    Genre(s): N/A
    Rating: N/A
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    Number of Comments: 14
    Words: 1814
    Story Shortlink: https://lf.beardesk.com/?p=18181
    Author Notes:

    Spencer confesses.

    SPENCER:

     

    “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been approximately three years and two months since my last confession. I kept meaning to get around to it, but my secretary said I didn’t have an opening in my schedule. And I already had to move a few things around for yoga, you know? So coming and doing the whole confession thing wasn’t even an option. But today I had a guy cancel…some asshole doctor from Walnut Creek who talks to me like I’m some kind of…”

    “Child…”

    “Exactly! See? You get it. You totally get it.”

    “No, child, I was going to ask you what brings you here? Counsel, prayer?”

    “Oh, yes. Well I got married.”

    “Congratulations.”

    “No, this not a good thing. This is a horrible, terrible, stupid thing.”

    “Will you explain?”

    “Ok, well I went away for a weekend to L.A. with my best friend, Chelsea. And while I was there I drank too much and ended up getting married to a former teen star with the I.Q. of a dolphin. Got it so far? Because I totally have to get back to work.”

    “Uh…yes, yes. I believe so.”

    “Good. So anyway we go to get the annulment, right? But the judge is a total asshole and won’t let us out of this thing until we ‘learn the value of marriage’ or whatever. Which is stupid, right? Because I completely understand the value of marriage. I was drunk and horny and I made a mistake. Should I have to pay for that forever?”

    “Perhaps this is an opportunity for you. Maybe this is a lesson in disguise…from God.”

    “No.”

    “No?”

    “You don’t understand. This woman—Ashley—she’s…I don’t even know if there are enough words to describe how hard she sucks. I mean, she’s messy and…and lazy…and…”

    “Does it make you feel better to judge her?”

    “Yes.”

    He was silent.

    “Ok, fine…it doesn’t.”

    “See?”

    “So what am I supposed to do? Accept her as she is or something?”

    “It would please God.”

    “Well if it pleases God…”

    “I believe it would please you as well. Simply try to show compassion and understanding towards her. In the process, perhaps you will learn something of value. Just like the judge said. And consult with your Bible for further instruction of you become frustrated or lost.”

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    Comments

    1. can a scene be hot and hilarious at the same time? Or am I just weird like that. Great update, and don’t worry I don’t think anyone is going to hold it against you about the update thing.

    2. yah i agree it was hot and funny at the same time thanks for the post if you dont ost ‘dennisions house’soon i think im going to start favoring this one o well i love this story pms please :)

    7. i have to agree that ‘i accidentally had sex with my wife’ have me laughing so damn hard i nearly fell off the chair! i kind of feel bad for the poor priest! having to listen to spence’s lunacy lol. great great update absolutely hysterical and amazing! pms!

    11. haha oh my! that was… hilariously sexy hahaha. oh boy was i laughing my ass off… i almost spit my water out on my laptop! “She had poured the contents of an entire gallon of Elmer’s Glue on them, then covered them in confetti.Assorted-colored confetti” i cannot wait until the next update!!!

    12. This was a very entertaining chapter. Spencer is in such denial, its hilarious. Now she needs to get a few more good fucks and she may finally shed that mini Paula routine she has going. Great update! PMS!

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