Shane parked her car unsure if she was doing the right thing. She thought back to the time when Bette and Tina planned on finding out whether Lara was *****. She was sure then that whatever their problem was, they can always depend on Bette. She was the wise one of them all; seems to know all the answers. Even through her busy schedule at the gallery Bette always managed to have time for them. But now, she wasnt sure if Bette could help her or if she could help Bette. She was just too upset and too disappointed in her that she wasnt sure if she could trust her with her feelings and problems.

She looked at the front door, turned the engine off and got out of her truck. She leaned on the door to her truck getting the courage to verbalise her problem to someone she wasnt too sure about. If she had someone else to talk to she wouldve turned around and drove to see that person. But at this moment, she could only think of one person, and she hoped this one person would be able to help her with her problem. Well, here goes nothing.

She walked up to the front door, unsure whether to knock or to ring the bell. She looked through the pane. The house seemed empty. She reached for the doorbell and pressed it with her forefinger. She took a step back hoping she was there. Shane was sure that shed be surprised to see her at her doorstep. And shed even be more surprised if she knew the reason Shane wanted to see her. Shane had no choice but to see her, she may be the only one who could help her now. She pressed the doorbell again and this time took a few steps backward, ready to return to her truck. A few seconds passed, Shane had a change of heart. I cant do this, not right now. Just as she turned around and started for her car, she heard the door open.

Shane? What are you doing here? Are you ok?

Shane turned around and let out a heavy sigh and gave her a weak smile.
—–
Alice! Hey! I need to talk to you!

Alice picked up her keys that have fallen to the ground and as she got up she knew shed be facing someone shed least happy to see. What the ***** does she want now?

Whats up Tonya?

Can I talk to you? Alice wasnt sure what she could possibly want to talk to her about.

Sure Alice crossed her arms waiting to hear what Tonya has to say.

Well? Arent you gonna invite me in?

Is this gonna be a long chat cos if it is youve caught me at a wrong time. I really need to rest!

Come on, itll just be a minute. Besides I wouldnt want to keep Dana waiting at home. She hasnt been feeling well. Hasnt been feeling well? Alice thought. She looked fine to me today when I saw her at the Planet. Whats going on here?

Well? Arent you gonna invite me in? Alice shook her head.

Erm yeah. Sure she unlocked the door and gestured to let Tonya in.

Nice place, you got here Alice. Not much space but nice. But then I cant see myself living here. She smiled, Good thing Im marrying Dana. Alice rolled her eyes.

Im sure thats not why youre here. So why dont u just cut to the chase Tonya?

Tonya stared at Alice and saw the usual look she gets from her; the get-the-*****-away-from-me-and-my-friends look.

Well, I know you and I dont usually see eye to eye

You got that right, Alice almost said out loud. Alice kept her stare.

but Dana sees you as someone important. Her friends are important to her, more than anything else. And since Dana and I are getting married, you would imagine that I would have to spend more time with you guys

What a nightmare! Alice just couldnt believe it.

and since you and I both know that we dont really like each others company, why not put a friendly front? You know, Id hate to see Dana hurt so thats why Im doing this. Im only doing this for her. I dont want to make her choose between her friends and her wife. Cos if it ever comes to that, Im sure she would choose to be with her wife. So what do you say?

Alice was stunned. What Tonya was asking her to do was exactly the reason shes very outspoken. She doesnt like to keep things bottled up inside. She doesnt want to act differently with her friends. What people see is what they get with her. She wasnt even sure why she was even listening to this cat killer. What shes asking her to do was just not acceptable. And what about the part that she would make Dana choose? Alice couldnt think straight, she wasnt sure what to tell Tonya. If she kept hating her in front of Dane, that would break Danas heart and if she hides it from her, then she would have to put up an act which is just beyond her beliefs.

I dont know if I can do that Tonya

Tonya smirked. What do you mean you cant?

I mean I cant do that to her

I thought you love Dana? her tone different.

I do. Of course I do!

Then why would you want to hurt her?

Im not trying to hurt her. I just dont want to have to lie to her, thats how much I love her!

Well, not as much as you want to ***** her! Alice was taken aback.

Whats that supposed to mean huh? Alice moved closer to her, her arms on her sides and her hands curled into fists.

You know damn well what that means! Tonya moved closer ready for a cat fight with Alice.

What the ***** are you talking about?!?

Youre saying that youre such a great friend and you dont wanna lie to Dana. And what you did to her last night, what was that? Youre ***** with her mind!

Alice couldnt move her feet, couldnt even speak. Her eyes stared blankly at Tonya.

Yeah thats right. I know ok? I KNOW!!! I know you kissed her last night. Ive always known you have the hots for her. But I thought it would finally pass but what I saw last night, I just couldnt help it anymore. Enough is enough! Im marrying Dana! You hear me?

Alice stood still not knowing what to do or say. Her mind reeling from the amazing kiss they shared and where Tonya was when they were doing that. Alice swore Dana said Tonya was asleep but then again, she might have imagined it because all she could think of that moment was Danas lips on hers. And when that happened, everything else went blank. It was like there were just the two of them and nothing else mattered. Alice thought that was the best kiss she ever shared with someone and that someone is marrying the person standing in front of her, whom she hated the moment they met.

Alice was angry with Dana for marrying this beast, frustrated with herself for not knowing when shell get to experience that kind of kiss again and furious with Tonya for ever meeting Dana! She walked closer to Tonya, their faces were only inches apart.

I heard you! I heard you crystal clear. Now if you dont mind, the door is just there. Please feel free to leave.

Tonya was about to say something, but Alice interrupted her.

And dont you ever come here. I wouldnt be as welcoming as I was today. Now please just leave.

Tonya moved past Alice and before she left, she turned to Alice, Suit yourself Alice. But remember this; Im the one marrying her, not you. Its me she asked to marry, and it definitely isnt you!! So back off! The door slammed behind her.

Alice slumped onto the couch. *****, what a day. She looked around the living room trying to clear her mind and get her breathing to normal. She stood up, I need a break! She walked towards her bedroom and let her body sink into the bed.
—–
Their cries subsided, but still both clung to each other. Bette whispered soothing words to Tinas ears to stop her crying and hoping that it too would stop the pain. Bette wondered why she ever needed to find comfort in someone else when comfort for her was wherever Tina was especially now in her arms. She looked around the room, the room was theirs. Every centimetre of it is theirs. They bear all the memories that Bette and Tina have built. Those things used to be special to Bette; she used to be so proud of what they have, so happy with their lives. How could they not matter to her now? Tina was and is the most important part of her and her to Tina. But how could they have let it all fall apart?

Bette tightened her hold of Tina. She didnt want to let go. If she could shed want them to stay this way forever. She was afraid that if she loosened her hold, Tina might slip from her arms and walk out on her again like she did last night after she threw her wedding ring at her. She remembers crying in the bed not being able to sleep, so she put her robe on and walked to the kitchen to somehow try to think straight. She sat on the stool at the counter for hours staring out the poolside but nothing calmed her thoughts.

She moved over to the living room and touched the things that she and Tina have collected over the years. She browsed through their CD collections, remembering how each CD would remind them of one particular moment in time. She looked at the photo frames on the fireplace, of her and Tina, and of her, Tina and the girls. She went through their DVD and video collection and run her fingers over them one by one and stopped when she saw their wedding video. She pulled it out, placed it in the VCR and hit the TV on.

She remembered the day, how happy she was, no happy was an understatement, she couldnt find a word to describe how she felt that day. All she knew was it was the best feeling she ever felt. She stood up and ran to their bedroom, went to the dresser and took the picture of their wedding ceremony out of its frame. She ran back to living room, kneeled in front of the TV, not wanting to miss a second of it. She wanted so much to touch Tina but she wasnt around to be touched. Bette had no other way but the only way she could; she kissed the photo she had in her hand and moved her free hand to touch her wife on TV.

She berated herself as to why she couldnt reach out for Tina instead of Candace. She knew Candace meant nothing to her, but she didnt know why she took the risk of hurting the only person that mattered to her. Tina was her life, her rock and without her, Bette knew in her guilty heart that she wouldnt be able to live.

Bette continue to whisper her I love yous in Tinas ears hoping somehow Tina would find it in her heart that she still loves her too.

Bette? Bette startled and skipped her mantra at hearing Tinas voice calling out her name.

Tina still in her arms, Yes baby?

I, I I think, I dont know if I mean, I

Sssshhhhhh now T. You dont need to say anything you need to rest ok?

No Bette I need to say this, please

Bette stiffened, not wanting to know what Tina was about to say because she knew it would be something thatll break her already broken heart. Bette nodded.

Bette I dont think I can do

Bette moved Tina backwards to look into her eyes and her own eyes started to water. She pulled Tina back into her arms, this time, closer than before.

No T please dont say that please. I need you here and you CAN do this! You really can! Bette pleaded.

Bette Tina was by now trying to break free.

No T. This is not how things are supposed to be. Were meant to be together. Remember our dreams baby? Remember? We both want to be together for the rest of our lives and longer! Remember T? That we want to grow old together and somehow someday you and I will have babies and our babies will grow up and theyll have babies and well be grandparents? Remember? You cant go T. You cant leave me here. Baby, we havent even fulfilled our dreams yet

And whose fault is that Bette? Mine?!?!? Tina kept pushing Bette but Bette just held on.

Tina, I love you. Im madly in love with you. I dont know what got into me. I dont know why, but please believe that I love you and I never stopped loving you T? Bettes shoulders shook and her grip on Tina loosened. Tina pushed her way out of Bettes arms. Tina looked at everything in the bedroom but Bette. Bette had her arms open desiring Tina to return.

T where are you going? You have to believe me Tina. Im so in love with you and no one else. Do you love me Tina? Even one bit? Bette appealed in between sobs.

***** Bette! Why do you even have to ask me that? Ive never stopped loving you, ever. Its you who needs to think if you still have feelings for me Tinas voice shaky. I have to go

Bette was crying her heart out and her cries got louder as Tina stood up. She saw something glistening on the floor so she moved to reach it. It was her wedding ring that she threw at Bette the night before. She held it in her palm and made it into a fist until her knuckles turn white from the pressure. She moved to the bed to where Bette was, who by now, had her face completely covered with her wet curls. She lifted Bettes face and kissed her on the forehead. Im sorry Bette, I just cant

As she turned to leave, she noticed a picture on the bed and she reached for it. Tina sighed when she realised what the picture was of. It had wrinkles all over it, tears were coming their way. Tinas heart broke, again and again, when she recognized where the wrinkles had come from.

Tina, please dont leave me!

Tina looked at Bette and touched the palm of her hand with hers. She brought it to her lips and kissed it gently, I love you too much Bette, thats why I cant stay. Im sorry She let go of her hand, put the picture in her back pocket and left.