Helena had stayed pretty late, we had chatted into the wee hours of the morning about past relationships and personal failures. I would never have thought that Helena felt she failed in so many aspects of her life.

I deemed myself as a pretty successful art curator, good reputation with always delivering satisfactory results exceeding clients expectations. I just failed to meet the ones that meant the most; my first love Tina.

My second being art. I was always quick to take Tina for granted within my life. Now nothing seemed to mean anything without her by my side.

She still hadn’t called, I keep telling myself she just needs time. And time is precious, this baby was growing inside of her and everyday that passed the more I wanted Tina to have our child.

It wouldn’t be too long until she was unable to have the abortion, but I still wanted her to have our child and actually really look forward to the prospects of Tina becoming a mom and me too. I just prayed she didn’t leave it too late, and have to go through with a pregnancy she doesn’t want and ends up ressenting the child.

A lot of my emotions were mixed; I just didn’t know how to deal with everything head on. The old Bette Porter would have tried to take control of the situation; well Tina. But now I was at a loss I didn’t want to push Tina into anything she didn’t want to do, as much as the repercussions of her actions could leave me without our child and her love within my life.

I had to focus on little things I could do to prove to Tina that I’ve changed and deserve forgiveness. Forgiveness; comes with a long trail of regrets and inhibitions.

"Bette, Tina’s on line 1 for you". James scurried away from my door as quick as possible at mentioning Tina’s name.

He was unsure of what to say or do to console my feelings. I found it endearing to say the least he had been my assistant for going on 5years and yet I misplaced his concern for my well-being as one of his duties as my assistant yet it never was.