Chapter 69

“So was that doctor some kind of a ***** moron or what? I mean – God – how could…” Bette was angry – extremely angry after Jackie’s visit with the Oncologist.

“Sunshine….come on – please calm down. Sometimes things just happen…there’s no real reason…they just happen.” Jackie tried to calm Bette down. It didn’t work.

“Oh … in this case there’s a reason… a good reason for it…what a ***** moron!”

“Babe…please calm down – or let me drive – ok?” Tina had never seen this type of anger in Bette before. She placed her hand on Bette’s leg and gave her leg a soft squeeze. “Take a deep breath Babe…please.” Bette took a deep breath. The three sat silently for several minutes recounting the events of the day. Bette’s mind was off and running. She and Tina had spent the day together while Jackie was poked, prodded, x-ray’d, scanned and examined. The appointment with Dr.Stein at the end of the day left her with mixed emotions. She was sure she’d never forget standing with Jackie and Tina – holding hands with both of them and staring at the films the doctor was showing them. The comparison to the films that were forwarded from Jackie’s previous Oncologist left Bette stunned. She stared at them in disbelief. The words that came out of Dr. Stein’s mouth – those words – GOD – those words – were sure to be engrained in her memory forever. The room seemed to zoom in and out of focus as she listened to his words.

“This mark here, and this one here, on this x-ray – on your left lung…in this view – compared to this view taken the same day…as you can see…there don’t appear to be any lesions in this film. Now compared to the films taken today…I have to conclude that there is a reason why you feel as good as you do. You are perfectly healthy. I don’t personally understand why your past doctor didn’t notice the difference in the films. Obviously the so called lesions were nothing more than artifacts on the film. I am so sorry you had to go through the last few months thinking you had been sentenced to death. I am so sorry…We will need to keep a close eye on you – the breast cancer could recur – but right now – you appear to be one hundred percant healthy….”

As Bette continued to drive – tears rolled down her cheeks. She was totally lost in her thoughts. She was incredibly happy and yet so angry that she couldn’t see straight. Tina glanced over at her and noticed her tears. “Baby…come on….there’s a rest stop coming up – please pull over – for me – for mom – for Taylor and Dylan. Please pull over…”

Bette pulled over at the rest stop. She rested her head on the steering wheel. “I have to…I can’t….I need to just get out of here for a minute….” Bette opened the car door and began walking. She wasn’t sure where she was going – she just needed to go….she had to go…get away…run away….Jackie started to get out of the car.

“Mom…mom…please…let’s just give her a minute. When she gets like this – she needs to get away from everything for a few minutes…just give her some time…” Although Tina had never seen this level of anger in Bette – she did know that when Bette said she needed to get away – she meant it.

Bette found a picnic table under a tree – overlooking a tiny stream – she sat at the table. She let out a heavy sigh and then began sobbing. She covered her face with her hands and sat by herself trying to collect her thoughts and get her emotions in control. A few minutes had passed when she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder. “Tina…I…” Bette looked up. It was Jackie – not Tina who had reached out her hand to connect with her. “Mom…I’m…I….I don’t….”

Jackie sat down next to Bette. She put her arm around her and Bette surrendered to her touch – resting her head on Jackie’s shoulder. Jackie whispered to Bette. “Sunshine…it’s ok…let’s just sit here for a minute…ok?” Suddenly, Bette felt very safe – she was safe in Jackie’s arms. It was a special feeling – warm. It was a feeling that could only be shared between a mother and child. Afterall – that’s what they had become over the last few months. They had developed a special bond and at this moment they were truly mother and child. “I love you Sunshine…” Jackie kissed Bette gently on the top of her head. “Don’t you ever forget that…I love you…”

“Mom…I’m so sorry about the way I acted….I’m so sorry….”

“You don’t need to apologize.”

“I’m really happy that you’re ok…I have a strange way of showing that huh?”

Bette look at me. Bette raised her head and pulled back slightly from Jackie. She looked into her eyes. “Don’t you ever apologize to me for caring enough to get that angry…”

“I just can’t imagine going through what you went through over the last few months…I can’t…”

“If there’s anything I’ve learned over the last few months it’s that I need to count my blessings. And…if I look at this whole thing from that point of view – it looks very different …very different. Had I not been told what I had been, I would have never ended up staying with you and Tina. And that is something I wouldn’t have missed for the world. The two of you sure are entertaining.” Jackie winked at Bette. Bette smiled – she couldn’t help but smile. “And now you two can go on with your life – raise your family and…” Bette cut Jackie off.

“What do you mean when you say we can go on with our life? You’re a big part of our life. I’d like you to stay with us…I don’t want you to leave. You are like the coolest mother in law that ever was. I love having you around – love it. You fit right in. I want the babies to know their grandmother – more than just at Christmas. Please say you’ll stay. I’ll even buy Jake back from that little eight year old extortionist, Mary Grace. Please stay…”

“Well – I think we need to involve Tina in that decision – don’t you?”

“I know what she’s going to say. She’ll want you to stay – if for no other reason than to watch the twins while she continues to exhaust me every chance she gets! Is that genetic or what? Don’t answer that – I don’t want to know!!!”

“Sunshine?”

“Yes?”

“I just want to tell you that I was prepared to go – I knew – after watching you – the way you love and protect your family – that my little girl and grandchildren would always be taken care of.by you. I found real comfort in that all these months. you are so special…so special. Don’t ever change for anyone.” Bette and Jackie looked at each other and sat in silence for a few minutes. ” I think we should get back to Tina now – ok?”

“Yeah – and mom?”

“Yes?”

“I love you too….”

“I know…I know you do…..you don’t even need to say it for me to feel it… I know….”

Jackie and Bette returned to the car. Tina had fallen asleep while waiting for them. Bette kissed her gently on the lips. As Tina’s eyes opened Bette whispered to her. “I love you….”

“You ok Babe….”

“I’m fine…go back to sleep…I’ll wake you up when we stop to eat. I adore you T…”

Tina drifted off to sleep again. They drove for awhile and then stopped for a quick dinner. Bette called Amanda to see how Jake was. They decided that Mary Grace and Jake would have their very first sleep over together.

It was late when they returned home. They were all drained – physically and emotionally. Jackie went to bed shortly after they returned home. Bette talked Tina into a quick dip in the pool before going to sleep.

Soon they were in the pool. Tina had her legs wrapped around Bette’s waist. They spent a good amount of time kissing – just enjoying each other. They both felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off their shoulders. Bette gently caressed Tina’s shoulders and her back. Bette felt Tina’s body relax and melt into hers.

“Hey T? Do you want your mom to stay with us?”

“Is it ok with you Babe?”

“Yeah – I’d like that….why don’t you ask her in the morning?”

“Ok! Baby ….are you sure you’re ok?… I was so worried about you earlier…”

“I’m fine – I’m really fine….” Bette began kissing her way down Tina’s neck until she reached her *****. She paid close attention to her nipples – they were waiting for her – ready for her mouth. “God Tina – you’re so beautiful – I want to be inside you – can I ?”

“Please…yes….Babe…please…”

Bette entered Tina with two fingers and settled into a steady rhythm as she went back to making love to Tina’s ***** with her mouth. She licked, nibbled and sucked them until she felt Tina contract around her fingers. “God Baby – you’re so ***** – and you’re so pregnant. I’m so in love with you.”

“Keep yourself inside me Baby – I need to feel you with me – in me. Please don’t stop – I’m almost there again . Please make me ***** again Baby…please – make me ***** Babe.” Tina’s ***** was intense. She allowed her head to fall forward on to Bette’s shoulder – she rested there for several minutes. “Thank you for loving me Bette – and for taking care of me – and mom and Jake. Please hold me – just hold me…”

I’ve got you…I’m never letting you go T…”