Bette was fuming. She had spent the better part of the evening in bed with Tina. And even thought that was more than enough to make her jump for joy, she had other things keeping her from clicking her heels. What was fueling her pissed off mood, was the fact that instead of reconnecting with her former love and best friend, she was consoling her. The night had passed with Tina confessing everything to Bette, from when she had arrived in Texas, to meeting Dorian, her drug spiral, being raped, Gwen, being pregnant, and finally her departure from Los Angeles. She had held Tina in her arms until the sun was beginning its ritual ascent; rocking her lightly, wiping away her unfaltering tears, and telling her that things were going to get better, until Tina had fell into a deep sleep. With the sound of Tinas heavy, even breaths, and her light snores; Bette slipped out from under the blonde. She would have given anything to be able to join Tina in whatever dreamscape was making her stay so firmly rooted in the subconscious world. But she didnt have that anything to give, instead she was plagued my thoughts triggered by Tinas stories. She blamed herself, truly and endlessly. If she had been more active in trying to get Tina to talk to her maybe she could have reached her before things got so incredibly fucked up. Of course she knew that she had no way of knowing where in Texas Tina was, or what her phone number was; but she couldve written more, called her house more. Tina wouldve came home and found the letters eventually. Bette believed that she had failed Tina, she had promised to love her beautiful best friend, she had promised Tina she wouldnt let anyone hurt her; Bette Porter broke her promise. Her word was one thing she thought she could give Tina, and now that wasnt true. Tina had been hurt more in the past year and a half than she had ever been while living with her mother. And the troubled brunette believed without a doubt that it was because she had given Tina the cold shoulder because she felt like she didnt care anymore. Although she was furious with herself, she couldnt help but be proud of her friend. Of course the lively blonde had made some horrible decisions in their time apart, but she was humbled by the strength that Tina had possessed in her daily fight against her addiction; not to mention the other boulders that were being pitched at her daily. Through her thoughts Bette had managed to get dressed and seeing how late it was, make lunch. She was about to wake Tina when she had an idea. Quickly she scribbled a note and walked out of the brightly lit bedroom. Shutting the door quietly behind herself, she stood there staring at the whit wood finish, like she could see Tinas perfect body through it. She wanted to know if she was doing the right thing, wanted reassurance, but she couldnt totally convince herself. So she gave up trying, and gave into instinct; pulling her hand back from the brass doorknob she turned and grabbed her jacket and keys from the kitchen, and then walked out the front door. ___________________________________________________________ Tina rolled over fifteen minutes later and felt the crinkle of paper give way under her cheek. She squinted, trying to open her eyes against the blazing sun that had been absent the previous day; it also didnt help that she had been crying incessantly the night before. It was with great difficulty that she finally peeled them open enough to see and notice that Bette wasnt there. Immediately she believed that she scared the other girl away and feared that Bette would come back in any minute telling her that she needed to leave. Her mind raced until she remembered what had woken her, slipping her fingers across Bettes pillow, she picked up the note and with a beaming smile read it, and then read it again, and then again. Tee, Lunch is in the kitchen, one of your favorites. Just stick it in the microwaveI already ate so its all yours. I should be back in an hour or sodepending on when you get your butt out of bed, ***** I might even be walking in the door as you read this.Did I? No? Okay. Just wanted to let you know that I love you, and youre not alone anymore. Always, Bette. Tina was still smiling as she pulled on a pair of faded jeans, zipped up a hoodie over her tank top, and pulled her messy blonde waves into a ponytail. Happily, possibly more happy than she had been in quite a while; she headed into the kitchen and if feasible, her smile got even bigger. Bette had made macaroni and cheese. And she hadnt screwed it up!! Theres a story there, about Bette not being able to make mac-n-cheesebut youll have to wait for another time. Sticking the bowl into the microwave she sat and waited. Upon the chiming of the bell de la Blue Box fairy, Tina jumped up and grabbed her food. Sitting at the table she found herself thinking less doomed thoughts about her life than she ever really had. Again she found herself able to think of the future. She had talked to Bette and explained, surprisingly Bette wasnt the least bit upset with her for any of the mistakes she had made. She understood, it was one of the things that had always attracted her to the charming brunette. But now that they had talked, where did it leave their relationship? Before she knew it she was scowling into her bowl of cheesy pasta and didnt even notice that she was being watched. Ya know Tee, whatever it did, Im sure its sorry. Bette said with a smile while leaning against the wall. Huh? Wha? Bette! Hi! Startled Tina roused herself out of her own meandering mind. Why were you trying to scold your macaroni? Bette asked as she made her way to the chair next to Tina. I wasnt. I was thinking. Oh, so thats what I smelled burning. Funny I thought it was the mac-n-cheese. Tina couldnt help but giggle at her own shot at Bettes culinary skills. Thats not funny Tina. One time. One time it turned out bad and I will never live it down. They laughed together quietly, both realizing it was the first time in quite a while that they had shared a moment like that. But before they knew it the moment was gone and a thick silence descended on the kitchen. Clearing her throat Bette shifted in her chair not knowing where to start. TinaI just want you to know how sorry I am for not being Before she could get a sentence out however, Tina was jumping in to stop her. Dont apologize Bette. Its not your fault, you have nothing to be sorry for. If I hadnt been so self involved and worried about nothing but getting wasted, I wouldnt have been in this mess. Who knows, maybe if I hadnt been such a horrible person wed be cuddled up in bed together reading some stupid book for a stupid class instead in this situation. She motioned to the space between themselves with her hands. Tee, Bette said softly as she reached for Tinas pale hand, Youre not a horrible person, youre the strongest, most amazing person that I know. Leaning back she inhaled deeply and pulled in the scent of the room, musky and thick, like a hot summer day although it was barely spring. Tina watched as a anxiousness overcame the other woman. Bette was clearly worried about something and Tina knew what was comingthere was a big invisible but at the end of her exs sentence. Running her fingers through her unruly curls Bette exhaled just as deeply as she had taken the air in. Reaching into her coat pocket she pulled out a pamphlet and placed it on the table. Tina raised an eyebrow in curiosity before picking it up and reading what it really was. Here eyes watered. It was an airline ticket. Just one. Tina? Bette asked worriedly. Tee why are you crying? Moving her head out of her hands Tina looked at Bette in amazement. Are you kidding me? BetteYou come back here with a plane ticket, and ask me why Im upset. Youre pretty much telling me to ***** off here, you do know that right? Bette looked thoroughly confused, which Tina would have thought was adorable, if not for the current circumstance. How is buying you a roundtrip ticket telling you to ***** off Tee? I mean, the roundtrip part is pretty much a blatant attempt by me to get you back here. If I didnt want to see you again, dont you think it would say one-way? Tina face flushed pink as she looked over the ticket again before emitting a soft. Oh. I uhI didnt see that part. Bette smiled knowing that Tina was feeling a little embarrassed by her over active emotions this morning. Sliding her chair closer to Tinas, Bette grabbed up both of her hands; this time placing them around her neck. Then leaning over she wrapped her own arms around Tinas slender waist before surprising the blonde with a firm and sweetly innocent kiss. I want you Tina. I want all of you. I want you when youre tired, when youre angry, when youre being a pain in the *****, when youre happy. Youre everything that I have ever dreamed of having in my life and I really dont think that I would have survived without you. Even if at times the only thing I had were our memories together. Ive loved you since I was fifteen years old and I still get that fluttering feeling in my heart when I see you. Bette, I dont know what to sayI love you too, so much you have no ideabut Bette looked at Tina for a second before continuing and pulling herself back from Tina slightly. This is going to be hard Tina, Im not going to at like it isnt. Were going to have to work at this everyday, every second. You need to get help, start going to substance abuse meetingsand before you freak outYou need to Tina, otherwise youre just going to keep going back whenever you get angry or stressed, like you did the other night. I want to help you, and Im sure you can find a job or something around herebut that can waitI have money and everythings pretty much taken care ofAnd I can watch Evan when youre out working of at meeting or something Bette was starting to ramble so Tina leaned in pressed her lips to Bettes, before Bette knew what was going on Tinas tongue was massaging her own passionately and her hands had become entangled in blonde locks. A significant amount of time lapsed before the two loosened their embrace. You have no idea how much you amaze me Bette. Tina said while lovingly caressing Bettes cheek. Letting a cheeky grin overcome her lips Bette couldnt help but stand and pull Tina in the direction of the bedroom I can amaze you even more once I get you out of those jeans. Tinas eyebrows shot up and an amused smile made its way onto her face as they reached Bettes bedroom. Pulling Tina to her body Bette kissed her again and shut the door behind herself. It was there they spent the rest of the day, night, and well into the next morning finding each other again and again. Tina felt like Tina again, she was whole, her soul had found its true partner. All thoughts of alternate personalities and bad habits were lost as she made love with the one person who made her feel beautiful; complete. It wasnt perfect though. The two women were entering into new and difficult situations. Tina needed to get clean, and stay that way; while Bette was entering the role of mommy to a little boy she never met, but knew she already loved with her life. They were both still young. Bette wanted to finish college and start her life, she just hoped that she could do such a thing and have a healthy relationship with Tina and Evan in her life. One things for sure, her life was about to be turned upside down, and she was going to cherish every second of it.