“Hey Babe, you ready?”

Bette had just opened the door to Tina’s smiling face. “I’m rrrrready!” Bette reached out to hug Tina, even though she had only been gone for two hours. “So where are you taking me today?”

“Well, I thought we could spend a little time at my favorite beach. Contrary to a lot of the beaches up here, this one has lots of sand, and big logs that are perfect for leaning against. And, if you get tired of the beach, there are also some great walking trails through the woods that are right above it.”

“Tina, that sounds perfect. Give me five minutes though, so I can put a swimsuit on under my shorts. It’s beautiful out, so maybe I can work on my tan!” Bette nearly ran into the bedroom to put on her suit, while Tina sat down smiling to herself. ‘I can’t believe how giddy I get every time I walk in that door. I feel like I’m 23 again…’ Tina didn’t realize it, but as she was thinking, she was smiling and shaking her head back and forth.

Bette had walked back out of the bedroom and was watching Tina, smiling. “What are you thinking about?”

Tina looked up, a little surprised that Bette was back so quickly. She wasn’t sure if she should share with her what all she was thinking, but…this was an older, and hopefully wiser Tina…and this Tina wasn’t going to keep things from Bette like she did before, just because she thought it might make Bette uncomfortable. This time she was going to put all her cards on the table…period.

“I was just thinking…you know how sometimes people will say things like, if only I could go back to when I was 21, only knowing what I know now…I would do things differently?”

Bette smiled. “Yes.”

Tina stood up and walked over to Bette, taking hold of her hands. “Well, I was thinking that in a way, I feel like we are going back to when I was 23 and you were 27, and we are starting from the beginning, only with all the knowledge of what we did right and what we did wrong, to help guide us now.” Tina grinned and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know Bette. I feel that goofy, all consuming excitement, that I remember feeling the first time I fell in love with you. I mean I know we have things to work through, and I know that this relationship is not just a given, but…well…I can’t help how elated I become just by being around you. I was thinking that those people are right, because I think there are things that I…we…can do differently this time, because we are smarter, and have both learned from our mistakes. And that realization…is what excites the ***** out of me, because I know if we pay attention…oh my God Bette…we could so get it right this time!”

Bette didn’t know what to say. She pulled Tina into her arms, so Tina couldn’t see her face. She agreed with everything that Tina had just verbalized. She wanted to jump up and down and feel giddy and goofy right along with her, because there was a big part of her that was feeling just that…but at the same time, she was still feeling…oh God…she didn’t know what she was feeling! ‘Nica…I loved you so much…please forgive me for coming to her the first chance I got…but…I need to be with her.’

Bette didn’t realize that she had started crying, and that Tina, though cradled in her arms, was now worried because Bette hadn’t said anything yet. She was now concerned that her enthusiastic outburst might nave scared Bette, especially with her feeling so guilty about Nica. ‘*****…I should have kept my mouth shut!’ I don’t want her to feel like she has to say something to appease me, when she might not agree with me. ‘*****, *****, *****!!’

Bette leaned back, still holding onto Tina’s arms. “Tina…I…*****!” Bette pulled Tina back into her body and seized Tina’s lips with her own, crushing their lips together with an urgency that was staggering. Tina was taken aback by the speed in which Bette had come at her, but in an instant, was as overwhelmed with passion as her former lover. They stood there devouring each other, their tongues fighting to get into the others mouth…Bette’s hands moving up to hold onto the sides of Tina’s face, her…

And just like that, as fast as she had closed in on Tina, she jumped back, like she had been burnt. “Oh my God, Tina!” Trying to catch her breath and talk at the same time, Bette started to stutter…clearly distraught over her actions. “I’m so sorry…I just…oh God!” She walked over to the couch and sat down on the arm. “I’m so sorry Tina. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Tina on the other hand was panting and had leaned down to rest her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. “Jesus Bette! What was that? Not that I’m complaining, I’m not…but *****…where did that come from?”

Both women were trying to get their breathing back to normal, trying to understand what just happened. Bette looked at Tina with so much love, but with such sadness in her eyes as well. “I don’t know Tina. I was listening to you, thinking that I agreed with everything you said…feeling my own giddiness as well, and then I started thinking about Nica…and I started feeling guilty again…but,” Bette looked at Tina, her eyes pleading for understanding. “but then I just was feeling an incredible need to feel you, to taste your lips. God Tina. I’m sorry, because I know that right now I can’t follow through with what I just started. I want to…so much, but I can’t. Not until I let go of this guilt.”

Tina did understand what Bette was going through, but that didn’t make her physical frustration any less, and it certainly didn’t take away the throbbing that was now becoming painful. “Bette, I do understand that you are not ready…but Baby, you can’t do something like that again and then just stop. I don’t think I can take it.” She stopped a moment to walk over to Bette, trying not to show by her walk, her extreme discomfort. “She took one of Bette’s hands in hers and held it up to her heart. “Do you feel that? Feel how fast it’s pumping. Baby, I am totally ready to be with you in every way, but knowing that you are not, is Ok with me. I am patient, and if it means that by waiting, we are going to get it right this time, then we will wait. But…you need to know that what you just did…Jesus Bette! I haven’t had ***** in well over two years, and what we just shared…well, there was more passion in that kiss than there was in…” Tina blew out her breath and shook her head. “In…I don’t know how long.” She took Bette into her arms and smiled. “We’ll wait Babe, but you need keep those incredible lips of yours in check, otherwise I can’t guarantee my reaction. Ok?”

Bette leaned her forehead into Tina’s. “Thank you Tina. I love you so much…I want to be with you so badly…I promise we will get through this.”

Tina stepped back out of Bette’s embrace. “Ok, well let’s do what we set out to do and go spend the day at Seahurst Beach…one of my favorite spots, and from what I hear, it’s the neighborhood where a certain L Word fan fiction writer grew up. Besides, with the way I am now feeling,” Tina took a leg and shook it out to the side. “I think I need to wade in Puget Sound. That water is cold enough to numb anything!”