Bette, I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for you. Evelyn Walker gave Bette a warm hug. Nica would want you to have love in your life…and its clear by the way you and Tina look at each other, that there is so much love there.

Bette laid her hand on the upper arm of one her most loyal clients. A client, who over the years, had also become a dear friend to both Bette and Nica. She leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. Thank you, Evelyn. That means a lot. I know Nica would want this for me. She knew how much my relationship with Tina meant to me all those years ago. Bette hesitated for a moment. But, that doesnt mean I miss her any less.

After the two women said their good-byes, Bette turned around, looking for Tina. She was still feeling the effects of the fear that had taken root earlier in the evening, and needed to feel Tinas loving arms around her.

The party was coming to an end, most guests already either home, or on their way…happy to have spent another New Years Eve with friends at Kennter Galleries. The gallery itself was a mess, the floor completely covered with confetti…the wait staff moving quickly to remove all the dishes, getting everything packed up so that they too could go home. The exception of course, was the family of friends for whom this reunion had a very special meaning.

Bette walked up to Alice and Susan, who had been talking and laughing nonstop from the moment Susan agreed to show Alice the town. Bette could see the glow on each womans face as she approached, and smiled, thinking what a great pair these two would make. Hey… She interrupted quietly, reaching out and touching Alices arm. Have you two seen Tina?

Alice and Susan both glanced around, looking confused for a quick moment, having forgotten that there where actually other people in the room, as neither one had noticed anyone else since they started talking. Uh…no, Alice said. Last time I saw her, she was heading to the restroom, said her stomach was upset from the food.

Do you remember how long ago that was?

Alice and Susan looked at each other with a guilty expression on their faces, realizing that in their excitement to get to know one another, they hadnt noticed that Tina had been gone for at least a half an hour…maybe longer.

Bette could tell by their expressions that they hadnt been paying attention. Ok, well…I think I am going to go find her. Shes probably back with the kids playing on the computer.

When she walked around the corner to the back of the gallery, she saw Tinas children still enthralled with the computers…but saw no Tina. Concerned, she made her way to the restrooms. Maybe Tina really wasnt feeling well and was still in there. She opened the door to the womens room, and to both her relief and disappointment, found the room empty. Where is she? Tina hadnt given any indication, at least not to Bette, that there was anything wrong… So where could she be?

Bette walked back towards her office, thinking that maybe Tina went in there to lay down. As she approached the door, she heard a soft sob. Opening the door quickly, she saw Tina sitting on the sofa, with her head lowered into her hands. T…Baby, whats wrong? She entered her office, swiftly pulling the door closed behind her, and was at Tinas side in three strides, her arms reaching out, pulling Tina into her.

Tina allowed Bette to guide her head so it was resting on her shoulder…her sobs coming with a little more force now, feeling the love emanating from Bettes body…knowing the decision she made was going to keep her from feeling these loving arms on a daily basis. Arms that she wanted around her…forever. Tina had no intention of giving up her relationship with Bette…after all that has happened in both their lives, she couldnt let go of her, but Tina had made up her mind and was going to tell Bette that she didnt want her to live with her in Seattle. It was going to take every ounce of resolve she had, but she knew this was the right decision.

Bette on the other hand was scared to death. She didnt know what was going on with Tina, and hadnt see her cry like this since she found her in the bedroom all those years ago, after finding out about the loss of their son.

Tina…talk to me. Whats going on? Her voice was soft and comforting, but tinged with concern.

With a herculean effort, Tina managed to raise her head from Bettes shoulder, where it had felt so safe. She looked up, immediately getting lost in the eyes that were able to look at Tina and see…everything…and still love her through it all. She also knew, looking into those same eyes that Bette would fight her on this decision, so she steeled herself, determined to stay strong…because again…in the end, she knew this is what Bette really wanted.

Taking a deep breath, Tina started. Bette…I…well…first, I just want you to know that its Ok…I understand. After tonight, I get it now.

Bette squinted her eyes and shook her head in confusion. Whats Ok…get what Tina?

I understand why you dont want to leave New York. I could see it, and feel it all around us tonight. I get that this is where you really want to be…where your life is. Tina stopped and looked down, wringing her hands. And, well…I dont want you to leave all this for me. I cant, and wont ask you to give all this up.

Still lost as to what Tina was getting at, Bette asked her again. What are you trying to say, Tina?

With tears streaming down her cheeks, Tina lifted her hands up and gently cupped Bettes face. Im saying that for as much as I love you, and want you beside me everyday…I cant leave Seattle…I cant take my children away from their father…I cant ask my children to give up seeing their father on an almost daily basis, so I can see you every day. We are all a family, and at this point in their lives, I dont want to separate them from Dan…..and after tonight, I know that I also cant ask you to give up your family, your home, your friends…your gallery, to be with me.

Realization hit Bette, and she started vigorously shaking her head. No, Tina! She hesitated. First of all, I thought that we were all one big family…that there was no more yours or mine. Second, I dont understand where this is coming from. You have been practically begging me to move out to Seattle for months now. Why are you changing your mind just like that? Especially after all that we have been through…after all these years apart.

Tina, reached up and placed her fingers over Bettes mouth, quieting her. Bette. This is my decision. This is what is best….for everyone. I….I…dont want you to move to Seattle. I want you to stay here…live here in New York. We can live together after Alex graduates from high school.

There were so many emotions going through Bette. She was confused as to why, after pushing so hard to have her move to Seattle, that Tina seemed now to be willing to just step aside, and let that go. But, she also felt relief, because it sounded like Tina finally understood just how important her life here was to her…but scared as well, because now that she once again had a taste of what life was like with Tina Kennard by her side every day, she didnt know if she could give that up. She certainly didnt want to give it up, but she was also reminded of the resentment she had been feeling about leaving all that she knew and loved in New York. Could Tina be right?

Bette stared deep into Tinas eyes, knowing Tina just gave up her own dream, so that Bette could stay in the place where she had built a life…a good life…but…

Wait…No Tina! You cant possibly think that is the solution? For heavens sake…Alex wont be graduating for another ten years! When would we see each other..? Oh God….Bette could feel the dread flowing throughout her limbs, as a horrible thought settled in her chest. Do you even want to be with me? She barely whispered the question.

Tina lowered her forehead, so they were touching. Of course I do, Baby. Dont ever think for a moment that I dont want to spend every day of my life with you. However… She lifted her head back up, feeling stronger now that the initial declaration had been made. I can feel you pulling back. Its in your actions. She lowered her voice, continuing in a soft and gentle tone. Baby, how long have you known who you want to run the gallery…and why havent you announced that decision? And remember how we said we were going to look for a house to buy in Seattle…well we looked one time over Thanksgiving…but you cant even consider that looking. We drove by a couple of houses…that was it. We didnt even go inside. You have been procrastinating with all of these decisions, and now I understand why.

Bette interrupted Tina, knowing her partner was on a roll, and would continue making her argument until she was stopped. Ok, look…we obviously need to talk about this, but our friends, and the children are still here. Let me go have Kit take the kids home, and Ill tell the girls we will meet them tomorrow for breakfast before we head to the airport. Ok? Ill be right back.

Bette, Ive made my decision. Theres no reason to…

No, Tina. This is a decision WE have to make. Bette started to sound a little desperate, knowing what the tone that she was hearing in Tinas voice meant. Please…just let me do this…Ill be right back. Bette softened her tone and lowered herself onto one knee in front of Tina. I promise…Ill be right back…dont give up on us living together yet…please.

Without waiting for Tinas response, she stood up and headed out to the front of the gallery. She saw Milaine talking with Kit and Ed, and walked in their direction. Baby Girl…now this was a party! Kit hugged her sister, loving that Bette still let her call her that, even though the younger sister was almost fifty.

Not wanting anyone to know what was happening in her office, Bette struggled to keep her face clear of the pain she was feeling. She forced herself to laugh at her older sister, knowing she hadnt changed one bit in all these years. Well, Im glad you enjoyed it…considering the fact that it is way past your bedtime! Bette playfully squeezed Kits shoulders.

Hey now…why would you go and say something like that? Then, for effect, she pretended to yawn. Oops!

The group shared a laugh…and Bette once again was grateful for the incredibly close relationship she now shared with her sister, after so many years of struggling to let go of the sins of the past. Hey Kit…could you and Ed do me a favor?

Sure…what is it?

Well, Tina and I are going to stay a little longer, just to make sure everything is taken care of, but could you two take Milaine and the kids home for us. Its getting late.

Kit sensed something was going on with Bette…they were way too close for her not to notice, but didnt want to say anything in front of the others. So, instead she decided to make a joke out of it. She smiled and winked. Hah! I remember how you two use to be. You probably just want to get a little boody action in that comfy office of yours!

Bette smiled, wishing that was the reason she wanted them to leave, but chose to ignore the comment. Do you mind?

Kit turned serious again. No Baby Sis…we dont mind. You just go find your woman and we will make sure everyone gets home safe and sound.

Bette leaned in, kissing Kit. Thanks. Ill catch up with you guys tomorrow. She went over and repeated her good-byes to the LA contingency, explaining that Tina wasnt feeling well, but that they would catch up with them for breakfast in the morning.

Then, with her good-byes taken care of, she turned and stiffly walked back to her office. When she was about ten feet away from the door, she slowed her pace, her mind repeating what Tina had said…. I can feel you pulling away…..I cant, and wont ask you to give all this up……Bette, Ive made my decision.

Bettes thoughts caused her momentum to slow even more, until she found herself standing completely still in front of her office, just staring at the door. She could feel doubt creeping into her thoughts. Could Tina actually be right? Is this where she truly wanted to be…even if it meant only seeing Tina a couple of times a month? Bette felt her eyes fill with tears. God, it cant be coming down to this…after all these years…not with the extremely rare, breathtaking love we share. Without knowing it, Bette was shaking her head back and forth. How could this be happening? All their dreams…could they really be a family and be separated like this?

Bette opened the door, oblivious to the tears streaming down her face. All she was aware of was that her chest felt like it was being squeezed in a vise, and she had an overpowering desire to have Tina in her arms. She needed to hold her, feel her skin next to her own. She needed Tina to ease her fears.

While Bette had been saying good night to everyone, Tina had been sitting on the sofa, contemplating what it was going to be like, having a long distance relationship…trying to imagine how it was going to feel waking up alone for the next ten years, knowing that her bed partner was 3,000 miles away. Was this really the right decision? For a moment Tina wavered, but then the image of Bette being surrounded by friends and family…seeing how open and loving she was with them, convinced her again that she had made the right decision. Now all she had to do was wait for her heart to catch up with her head.

As she sat there, the need to feel Bette close to her was overwhelming. She couldnt stand the thought of being without Bettes arms around her for long periods of time…needed to feel her warmth and strength. Just then, the door opened and Bette came striding back in the room, looking defeated…her tears conveying all the fear that was coursing through her body.

Tina automatically stood, wanting…needing to go to her…to reassure her that it was going to be alright. She stopped short though, her own fear taking control, her mind now questioning if that was possible. Of course it is, God dammit!! This is Bette were talking about!!

As they locked eyes, their combined desire was palpable, floating, circling them both…causing both their bodies to unconsciously sway forward, trying to reach out towards each other. Bettes eyes pleaded with Tina, begging her to love her…to keep her safe.

Tina….I…we need to finish ….

Shhhhh…. Tina stepped forward, gently placing her fingers over Bettes mouth to silence her. Later…Baby, please…I need…

It was Bettes turn to silence her partner, but instead of using her fingers to quiet Tina, in one swift movement, she took Tinas fingers that were still covering her lips, and placed them over her wildly beating heart, while leaning forward, crushing Tinas lips with a ferocity that forced her head back. Tina couldnt help the loud moan from reverberating up from her throat. The kiss was short, but frenzied, both women breaking away, panting with surprise from the titalwave of desire that was crashing through their bodies.

Tinas chest was heaving up and down. God, what she does to me…and with only one kiss! Her eyes locked with Bettes, both taken aback by the raw desire shining in the others eyes. Aching for more, they moved at the same time, literally throwing themselves into the others arms…their mouths hungry to taste, to feel…to devour. Bette wrapped her arms around Tina, running her fingers up and down her spine, relishing in the fact that Tinas dress was backless. Hanging on tight to her lips, she slowly pushed her towards the wall, not wanting to let Tina go…ever.

Tina felt her body softly nudge the hard cool surface of plaster, and let out a soft whimper. Chills were racing through her body, goosebumps breaking out everywhere. God Bette…dont wait.

Bette managed to grunt, I couldnt if I wanted to, as she lowered the zipper on Tinas dress with a feather light touch. Before Tina could focus on what Bettes hands were doing, her dress was laying on the floor at her feet. Bette looked down at the gorgeous body of her partner, that was now clad only in a bra, panties, and high heels…and felt her knees buckle. Jesus, T…

Feeling the rush of cool air on her skin, Tina looked down and gasped in surprise at her almost naked body. Tina felt her head fall back against the wall, and moaned at the hot touch of Bettes hands slowly caressing their way down her body together, one in front, the other repeating its movements in back. As her fingers circled the rock hard nipple of Tinas right breast, Bettes left hand was making the same circles on her right shoulder blade. Oh God… Tina was trying to talk in between gasps of breath. I see you havent…lost your touch…when it comes to zippers.

Not when youre the one I get to touch, Bette managed to murmur, as she continued to feast on the delectable skin covering Tinas neck. Her hands slowly circled their way down Tinas body, her right hand grazing across Tinas stomach, while her left hand, mirrored its movements on the small of her back.

Tina was having trouble standing, not sure whether to arch her back to increase the pressure of Bettes touch in front, or to bend forward a little to convince her lover to increase the pressure in back. Her knees started to tremble. She wrapped one arm around Bettes shoulders, and reached down and back with her other hand, laying it flat against the wall, hoping it would provide the stability she needed in order to stay vertical.

Bette felt like all the blood in her body had rushed to two places, her head and her groin…both pulsing to the beat of her frantic heart that was desperately trying to keep up with the needs of her body. T…please… Bette groaned as her hand brushed against Tinas silk panties, now soaked and useless. And as her fingers slipped underneath, she felt the duel sensation of the cool wetness of the panties rubbing against her knuckles, and the hot, syrupy juices of her incredible lover, flowing like a river of pearls down her fingers.

Bettes knees buckled for the second time, and she had to brace herself, moving her left hand up against the wall. After standing there trembling for a minute, she finally managed to choke out…Tina….we need…to lay down.

Tina, lost in the tortuous rhythm of Bettes fingers, tightened her hold on her. Dropping her forehead onto Bettes shoulder, she let her mouth hang open, and opened her eyes, trying to focus on the floor. Dont you…dare let go…now!

But T…I…

Tina struggled with her breath. Baby…Im begging you…not to lose contact now. Please…stay right…where you are… She lifted her head, staring into Bettes protecting eyes. Stay inside of me…dont leave.

Tears sprang into her own eyes, as Bette saw the unfocused glaze of desire in Tinas…but also saw the fear floating around that desire. Oh Baby…I love you so much.

Between the rhythm of Bettes loving fingers and her teasing thumb, Tina was on the brink of oblivion. Hmmm…Oh God…you got me Baby… Tina let out a pleasureful moan. Im there.

That was the last sound she made before her throat closed off as her body exploded with her *****, her body convulsing against the wall, her face turning beet red from lack of oxygen. She felt herself slipping down the wall, as her knees finally gave out. She tried grabbing at the flat wall in hopes it would help her maintain her feet, and as her hand brushed across the plaster, it past over two rough spots in the otherwise totally smooth surface. Bette leaned into Tina, locking her own knees in place, and then grabbing her around her waist to keep her upright. Tina once again laid her forehead against Bettes shoulder, trying to catch her breath, and as she did, she opened her eyes and looked down to see what her hand had rubbed up against….

There, pressed into the plaster, were two distinct hand prints. The smaller print had Milaine scratched underneath it in writing that was clearly a childs, while the larger hand print had Nica written in soft, flowing cursive, with a heart drawn next to it.

Tina burst into tears upon seeing the little touches that were all around, just as Bette had referred to earlier in the evening. She knew at that moment she had to get out of there…out of the gallery, out of New York. This was not her place…it was theirs…this town belonged only to Bette and Nica.

Bette heard Tina crying, felt her tears falling onto her shoulder, and fear enveloped her once again.

For the second time Bette asked Tina the question, only this time, because she knew what the answer probably was going to be…it absolutely terrified her.

T…Baby, whats wrong?

tbc