We sit together for a long time quietly watching the fire lost in our own thoughts as Bette gently and rhythmically strokes my hair and I trace slow patterns along her partially exposed thigh.

T, her soft voice almost startles me, Ive been thinking

Hmm? Thinking about what? I gaze upon her beautiful face and become alarmed when I notice her eyes welling up.
I stop trailing my fingers along her leg and instead give it a gentle squeeze, Hey, whats going on it that beautiful head of yours? She remains silent. With my concern deepening I again squeeze her thigh gently and lovingly, Sweetie, do you have something to tell me or did you just want to let me know that sometimes you actually think? I lean in closer watching for a reaction, hoping my attempt at humor has lessened her distress. A goofy smile spread across her soft lips.

Glancing at me out of the corner of her eye she clears her throat, Funny, very funny. She swipes her fingers across her eyes in an effort to dry the moisture, Seriously T, Ive been thinking that Im incredibly lucky to have you in my life. You take care of me this evening is a perfect example of how well you do that. I mean, baby you were prepared to meet me at my car with my umbrella so I wouldnt get soaked who does that? Studying me, her big brown eyes dance across my features, You do. You love me like that every day.

T, think about it, you work in a very demanding and high stress field, yet you still remember and shop for birthdays and parties, you always pick up the dry cleaning and go grocery shopping and cook healthy meals for us. Snuggling into my hair, I can feel her warm breath against my scalp.

Baby, you keep it all together around here – for us. Im sitting here tonight and Im happily looking back on the memories of my childhood, her soft tone becomes harsh and disapproving, the part before Melvin became an ***** of course.

Chuckling as I acknowledge, Of course.

T, I remember coming home from school during some incredibly cold days in Philly and my mom would have the house warm and inviting, just waiting for my arrival – like our house. Shed give me hot chocolate and a snack and wed sit and talk about the day, what I did in class, which friends I talked to, which boy I liked at the time kissing the top of my head, I could never tell her back then that my attraction was toward girls, so Id usually make up some name and shed always buy it.

Hugging her hand against my chest, Little did she know where youd be today. I raise her fingers to my lips and gently kiss the back of her delicate hand, I for one am glad you like girls… well, at least one girl anyway.

She gives me a loving squeeze, Mmm me too.

So whats up with the trip down memory lane hon, what brought on those thoughts, and the tears?

Everything about tonight I guess. Running her long fingers gently through my hair, T, I feel so loved and nurtured by you. I feel like when I walk in that front door that I can leave all the ***** outside and I know with complete confidence when I cross the threshold youll be here to love me, care for me, and even dry me off if Im wet from the rain. A weak smile crosses her lips.

Tina I work every day with a single goal, and thats to come home to you. I love our life, I love our home, and our friends, but I especially love how we are together, so in tune and connected were very lucky Im very lucky.

Bette takes an audible breath and releases her hold on me, T, look at me please.

Slowly I ease myself around to find my wife obviously shaken, Honey, wh

She places her fingers to my lips to quiet me, No T, I she stops thoughtfully and smiles. She holds my gaze for several long seconds before huffing a little laugh, T, I think its time, I think were ready She closes her eyes again, I watch her features closely and witness the worry and internal strife melt away. She smiles and then opens her eyes again, looking directly into mine, I want us to start a family I want our kids to experience your undying, never-ending, unconditional love. I I want you to be the birth mother T.

My eyes widen and I watch her face intently as I take in what she just said. Jesus, wed talked about kids at some time in the future. Is this really it, is this the point in time of our future when we should start a family?

Bette places one hand soothingly against my cheek as she speaks, Tina, I know this is unexpected, I can see the fear in your eyes, but listen to me before you tell me no. I really think were ready for this. Babe, Im totally stable in my job, we have a healthy savings account and I think emotionally were in a good place.

I continue to stare in disbelief, a baby? I mean the concept was appealing when we first discussed it, but so was shag carpeting in the 70s Ill never forget my mother raking the living room my thoughts are thankfully interrupted by Bette.

Okay T, you look like youre about to freak out. Whats scaring you, the idea, carrying it, the process of getting pregnant?

Shag carpeting I state weakly.

Bettes eyes narrow in confusion, she makes several attempts to form words, but her mouth just opens and closes without sound until, Wha what the ***** are you talking about T? I mean, Im sitting here in this beautifully romantic setting of our home, barely clothed I might add, holding my wife in front of a warm fire on a cold and rainy night, telling you all the wonderful things I feel about us and you and finally gather my courage to ask you to become a mommy with me and you spout shag carpeting. Baby, I have to admit that I am completely mystified at this moment. Help me out here, please!