Chapter 43 – Live Your Life

Shane was just pulling out from Bettes apartment. Flipping open her phone she speed dials Tina. Hey you, I just wanted to let you know I stopped in to check on Bette and shes not home.
Are you sure she wasnt there and just no answering the door? Tina asked sounding a little panicked.
You didnt tell me everything this morning did you? Shane says knowingly as the sound of Tinas panic made it clear now but she wanting Tina to confirm.
No, forgive me Shane. Everything I told you was true the part I left out was that I kissed Bette on my way out and she returned the kiss. Tina started and then paused. Well thats a good thing. Im sure Bette just ran to the store or something. Shane concluded.
No No it wasnt a good thing. I mean the kiss was amazing, but Bettes reaction was terrible. She turned and ran into the house. I really dont know what to make of it. Tina finally fesses up.
Oh, I got it. Was all Shane said. Did she say anything before she ran?
Yeah, I cant do this, but it was more the look. She had that frightened child look again. Shane I know you know, please tell me what is she afraid of? What is so bad that she would run that way? Tina asks.
Now Shane feels in the middle. Why dont we try to find her first? Did you call Kit?
Shane asks.
No, but I will right now and call you back. Tina states.


Kit was surprised to see her sister so early on this Sunday morning. Opening the door she was about to give her a rash of ***** when she saw Bettes face.
Oh my God baby girl what happened? As she pulls Bette into a full bosom hug. Bette was a mess. She was crying when she got up to Kits door now in Kits embrace she was in full force sobbing. The kind of sobbing that leaves you emotionally drained and with the hic-ups. Kit pulled Bette into her living room and sat down on the couch, pulling Bette with her. Holding Bette and rocking all the while rubbing her back and saying It will be OK baby.

This goes on for quiet a while. Bette finally begins to slow down and breath more normally again with a hic-up every once and a while. Kit was just going to wait for Bette to talk first. Knowing Bette as well as she did, she knew it would be better to let Bette speak at her own pace then try to ask her any questions.

Bette feeling better in Kits embrace takes her time. Not really knowing how to approach what is wrong. I had dinner with Tina yesterday. Bette starts. Hesitates and then begins again: I love her.
Having said this calm settles over Bette.
Kit wanted really bad to say Tell me something I dont already know but this wasnt the time or place.
I need to leave. I need to go away. I think I should be able to get out of my lease. Ill have to get a truck to move all my painting stuff. Maybe Ill go to Arizona. I heard Jerome is a good place for artists. Bette continued on in this vain with each statement short and more outrageous.
After these statements of idiocy ran their course Kit couldnt stay quiet anymore: Girl are you ever going to get to what happened?
This seemed to jar Bette out of her current track of thinking. I told you I saw Tina and I love her.
Bette, honey, I think youre leaving a few details out. Kit was trying really hard to be patient as Bette seemed to be in a fragile state but she wasnt going to be able to hold out much longer.
I cant stay here and love Tina. I will only hurt her again. Bette blurts out like everyone knows this fact.
This was what Kit was afraid of. Bette had let her fear of hurting Tina again run wild with her thoughts. The two of them must have gotten close yesterday and the end results are that Bette wants to run. Kit was left just looking at Bette as she tried to figure out how to approach this.
Bette was still mentally moving on: Kit do you want any of my furniture? You know you can have anything you want.
That was the last straw: Honey, Im going to try to say this as nicely as I can but the sad truth is you cant run BECAUSE you love Tina.
Bette just looks at Kit as if shes lost her mind.
Before Bette can say anything Kit continues: Havent you talked to Rachael about running away? Isnt that the very thing you did the first time that hurt Tina so badly? Dont you think that if you run again that you will hurt her again and moreover hurt yourself?

Bettes eyes well up with tears again as the truth of these words are undeniable. She doesnt say a word but the tears start streaming down her face.


Tina is now in full blown panic mode. Bette wouldnt do anything stupid would she? I know she wanted that kiss as much as I did. How could something that felt so good be so wrong? Thoughts of this nature were swirling around Tinas head as she frantically dialed Kits number.

Hello Kit got up and grabbed the portable in the kitchen leaving Bette in tears on the couch. Yes, shes here. What happened?
With that Kit learns of the kiss. Shaking her head as she thinks how that really could upset Bettes apple cart. Reassuring Tina that she would watch over Bette, Kit hung up and walked back into the living room.

Kit sits down right next to Bette on the couch and takes both of her hands in hers. Bette, honey look at me. Kit waits as Bette looks up at Kit with the wide open innocent doe eyes.
We all hurt from time to time. Hurting and being hurt is the chance you take when we love someone. We all take that risk. Thats what makes your love for Tina so wonderful, its always been high risk but also high rewards. You need to take that risk again. You need to move on with you life. You cant stay isolated in the life you have been leading. That was Tina on the phone. She was very worried about you, almost to the point of panic. Dont you think she loves you or she wouldnt even be worrying about you? Youre not the same person. Just because you hurt Tina once doesnt mean youll do it again. You have changed. You have to trust yourself and your judgment. You need to live your life again and not hide from it. You can take it slow, as slow as you want but you need to take it.