Ooomph.dammit

Babe you okay?

Yeah Im fineshit

Bette dusted herself off as she came walking out of the garage carrying a box of gardening supplies. It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and Tina had decided that she wanted to spend today gardening. Bette had disagreed at first saying that she shouldnt be out in the hot sun all day but after Tina assured her she would cover up and not let herself get overheated, Bette gave in. Alice and Dana had called and said they were going to stop by for a little while to hang out and stuff so Bette decided why not make it a gathering so she called up Shane who was on her way and Kit who was coming after Ivan dropped her off. Liz was napping so that she could have full use of her energy once her favorite aunties arrived and Bette hoped that they would all wear her out so she knocked out early tonight.

DING DONG

AUNTYS HERE!!!

Liz, who had apparently woken up, came tearing through the house straight for the front door leaving Tina and Bette smiling and shaking their heads. Liz could be such a handful sometimes but at other times she was such a cutie too. Liz threw the door open and greeted Alice and Dana with a big smile.

Hi auntyhi aunty

Hey munchkinhow are ya?

Goodaunty Dana you wanna see Bob?

Umm.Bob?

Yeah come on

Liz dragged Dana into her room while Tina and Bette said hi to Alice. Bette had ordered Chinese take out and the delivery guy was right behind Alice and Dana so she paid the bill while Tina and Alice set the food out for lunch. Bette was just getting drinks from the fridge when Liz and Dana returned from their encounter with Bob. Liz bounced around a little before Tina got her settled in her chair while Bette prepared a plate of food for her and got her a cup of juice. Everyone sat around talking and enjoying each others company while Liz did her best to spear some chicken and some noodles with her fork, which ended up taking almost forever, before she gave in and used her spoon. Tina had said that she really needed to learn to eat with her fork, but as long as she got past eating with her hands, but was okay for now.

After lunch everyone headed outside to the patio and relaxed under the warm California sun. Dana and Alice had brought their swimsuits so they could tan and Bette changed into comfy shorts and a tank top and joined them poolside on one of the lounge chairs. Tina went to work with her gardening despite Alice and Danas protests that she should stop what shes doing and come join them. Liz was wandering around the back yard looking at anything and everything she could get her little hands on, which left almost no leaf unturned and no flower un trampled.

So Bette how are things?

Alice pointed at Tina and smiled. Alice knew what ***** Bette went through the last time Tina was pregnant and she could only imagine what ***** Bette was going through the second time around. Bette just smiled and shook her head at Alice.

Its going great. Liz is great, Tina is great. Things are great.

Goodwe cant wait to have a little boy running around too

You treat Liz like shes a little boy Al

Alice looked at Dana with one eyebrow raised. Alice couldnt believe that of all people Dana said that Alice was playing too rough with Liz, but deep down she thought it was cute how Dana kind of wanted Liz to be all girlie like. Not on my watch, she thought as she just shook her head and smiled at Dana.

Liz had wandered to the far side of the yard near the gate that separates the Porter-Kennard yard from their neighbors. She was looking at a line of ants that was crawling on the gate when suddenly something caught her eye. She stared intently at it before it moved again.

Hehehehe.

Liz let out a squeal of laughter before bending down and trying to pick it up but it moved away quickly. Liz crawled around on all fours before she found it again and this time it was trapped against the concrete all. Liz grabbed the squirmy little thing and laughed again as she ran back to where Bette, Alice and Dana were sitting on the lounge chairs. She ran directly between Bette and Dana and shoved the thing in Bettes face.

Mommy what is this?

AHHHHHHHH

Bette screamed and jumped up at the same time, which startled Liz who flung the baby garter snake into the air causing it to land on Dana.

GET IT OFF ME!!!

Dana jumped up as well and threw the snake onto Alice before she turned to run into the house to get cleaned off. Bette had decided to do the same and unfortunately for them, their timing stunk and they managed to push each other into the pool. Alice was laughing so hard she momentarily forgot that she had a snake on her and she laughed so hard she fell out of her lounge chair. Liz saw all the commotion and yelling and had no idea what was going on and it made her very very scared so she ran to Tina crying who had heard the commotion but didnt know what was going on.

Aww baby its okayshhhwhats wrong?

Liz just pointed at Alice who was still on the ground laughing and pointing at Dana and Bette who were in the pool glaring at Alice. The snake had managed to wiggle away from Alice and headed straight for the water causing Bette and Dana to scream again and swim as fast as they could to the other side. Alice erupted in a fit of laughter again while Tina just watched them with a smile on her face and shook her head. She walked over to the edge of the pool and fished the snake out and showed it to Liz.

See Lizthis is a baby garter snakelets put him back in his home okay?

Okay

Tina and Liz took the snake back to where Liz found it and Tina let the snake wander back into the grass before turning around and staring at the other three. Bette and Dana had managed to get out of the pool while Alice sat there wiping the tears from her eyes that had formed from laughing so hard. Tina couldnt help but laugh as well and she went over and sat next to Bette.

Whats the matter babe? Scared of a little snake?

Tina

Mommy whats a snake?

Bette looked at Liz who was looking at her expectantly and she sighed before trying to think of an answer.

Wellhoneysnakes are gross, slimy little

BETTE

Okay okayno Lizsnakes are reptiles. Ill teach you about reptiles sometime

Okay

Liz jumped off of Tinas lap and went to go play again while Tina went inside to get some towels for Bette and Dana. Alice was still smiling at the two dripping wet women who looked like they wanted to kill her. Bette looked at Dana who nodded and the two of them sat down on either side of Alice and smiled sweetly at her.

Man you guys are too funnyscared of a little snakeand from the looks of things the water was cold too

Yeah it waswhy dont you find out?

Bette and Dana grabbed Alice who was caught completely off guard and they threw her into the pool with all their might. They stood there laughing and pointing at Alice who was now sputtering at the icy effects of the water and glaring at her girlfriend and her best friend. Tina returned with the towels and laughed upon seeing Alice in the water. The three girls toweled off and headed inside when Liz came running up to Tina and dragged her to the corner of the backyard again. Apparently Liz had stumbled upon a group of baby garters and she really wanted to keep one.

Mommy can we have one?

I dont know, your other mommy doesnt like snakes

Mommy dont like snakes?

Tina looked at Liz and tried to figure out the best way to say no without breaking her poor little heart but Bette overheard and decided to do it for her. Bette stood there with her hands on her hips and yelled out to them before turning and going into the house:

NO MOMMY DOESNT LIKE SNAKES!

And that was that.