Mommy wake? Emily said tugging on Tinas eyelid. She chewed on the ear of her toy lamb and waited.

Tina woke swiftly, rubbed her eye and stifled a swearword as she saw her daughter standing before her What are you doing Emee? Its still dark she whispered why arent you asleep?

Emilys solemn dark eyes looked at her mother. Baas scared she said and held out her stuffed lamb as if Tina would be able to see Baas terror in the black plastic of her eyes.

Would Baa like to come into bed with me? Tina said smiling at her daughter. She freed her hand from the covers and stroked Emilys dark curly hair

Emilys curls bounced on her shoulder as she nodded her head.

Maybe you should come too..in case Baa gets scared again Tina said softly. She pulled back the covers so Emily could crawl into bed with her.

Baa wants story Emily said sleepily her body tucked safely into her mothers.

Tina almost laughed; they went through this same routine once or twice a month. Sometimes she caved in and told them a story, but not tonight.

Baa needs to go to sleep; she has a big day tomorrow Tina whispered into her daughters ear.

Emily sighed and snuggled closer, one hand held Baa against her chest and the other crept across the pillow and into her mouth.

Tina smoothed back the curls and kissed Emily on the cheek Night Emily, Night Baa.

She listened as Emily sucked her thumb, slowly rubbed her back until her breathing steadied. Finally Tinas actions were rewarded with the sound of Emilys regular breaths; the rhythm telling her Emily was fast asleep.

Tina relaxed and closed her eyes.

She thought of her daughter, but gradually Emilys solemn chocolate eyes and the bouncy dark curls transformed into Bettes face. Not the angry Bette of their last night together or the face of her lover that had stared across the gulf of their lawyers table but the Bette that had made her feel warm and safe and loved.

A familiar ache started deep inside her body.

She waited for the pain to slice through her, for the image of Candaces face to overlay Bettes but all that happened was the dull ache started to build into a persistent throb.

This was the third time this has happened, all in the last month, and Tina realized that something deep inside her was telling her she needed to go home; to search out her soul mate and see whether it was possible for them to start again.

It wouldnt be easy; there was Emily to think of.

Not that Tina had any doubts about Bette loving Emily. No. What nagged at her was the thought that Bette might have moved on or worse that theyd try again and fail spectacularly a second time.

These thoughts took flight as she pondered over the possibility of returning to LA, and a voice started deep inside her, told her to stay here, to play it safe. The doubts built on each other and expanded until they immobilized her.

Until tonight theyd neutralized the pull she felt to try again but this time the pull to go home was stronger and she was left with a sense that maybe it would be possible.

But could she survive a second time if she failed? Was it fair for her to drag Emily through this with her? Put Emilys heart on the line as well?