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    Planet Terror: Zombies on a Helicopter

    Story written on August 10, 2007 by helebette.
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    1 vote, average: 2.00 out of 51 vote, average: 2.00 out of 51 vote, average: 2.00 out of 51 vote, average: 2.00 out of 51 vote, average: 2.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 5
    Words: 2579
    Story Shortlink: https://lf.beardesk.com/?p=66501
    Author Notes:

    bette and helena experiment, a zombie hangs out on a helicopter, and buffy is a big mean racist

    And then…

    “Ah! What was that?” Lara shouted, waking Catherine and Dylan, not to mention Caiohme. The baby began to cry and Catherine and Dylan came running, wearing just their underwear and waving pistols.

    “hey! Ah!” Alice pointed at both women who struggled to cover their naked breasts with various kitchen appliances while Alice burst out laughing.

    “Dammit Alice!” Catherine shouted, relaxing with the realization that Alice and Lara had, in fact, seen it all before anyway. “What the hell were you screaming about?”

    An irate looking Bette and Helena came striding out, baby in arms, miraculously clothed in less than a minute. “Alice?” Bette asked, a fake polite smile on her face.

    “Oh, uhhh…it was Lara who shouted.” Alice said, instantly regretting giving up her girlfriend so easily. “but uh, yeah, I helped. I mean I saw it to.” She pointed to the window.

    Bette walked over, gun in hand, looking out. “I see clouds.” She said dryly.

    “There were body parts, like a leg or something, and maybe a foot.” Lara said. “I think one of those things grabbed onto the chopper.”

    “Well, maybe it’ll blow away by the time we land.” Helena said hurridly, tugging on Bette’s elbow. “Darling, let’s go.” Her tone was urgent, drawing a snicker from Alice and rolled eyes from Catherine and Dylan.

    “Bette, get back to work.” Alice grinned. “We’ll take the baby.”

    “No, it’s all right.” Helena sighed, after a sudden cry from Caiohme.  “She’s hungry and I haven’t pumped milk for her since yesterday.”

    While Helena fed Caiohme, Bette and Dylan walked the length of the helicopter, looking for signs of the stray zombie.

    “It’ll be missing its legs, so that’s a bonus.” Dylan said cheerfully. “oh shit…”

    Dylan pointed and Bette looked.

    The zombie’s head had somehow attached itself to a window. Its lower jaw was missing, but its hair had become entangled in something and allowed it to stay gaping wide against the glass.

     

    Buffy and Muffy and Jaunty came meandering, drunkenly, up to Dylan and Bette. “how grotesque. Do something about that, you…” Buffy gestured toward Bette, who looked shocked and disgusted.

    “Me?” she exclaimed. “Why me?”

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    Comments

    3. Yes, goddamn it, you do owe us! Crappy theater management! That zombie head reminded me of the story yesterday about the guy who got bitten by the rattle snake he’d just beheaded with a shovel. Soooo much fun, helebette, I’ll forgive you re: Ligea. I still think one of these days that Bette and Helena’s (semi) public sex should inspire an orgy. Does Peggy’s helecopter have a bowling alley? An Olympic size pool? And I for one would not mind in the least if Jenny were completely rotten (isn’t she already?), although I’d feel bad about a moldy Shane.

    4. Damn you, missing reel! I’m sure “zombie head on a plane” offers more comic relief than the snake version (which I also passed on). I have a feeling the gang is safe as long as the sharp-shooting Peggy P is in the picture (which I hope is for a long time). It’s lovely that Bette and Helena were able to get down to business amid all the chaos.

    5. I actually did think Buffy needed a kicking. A killing? Maybe not… but most def a good kicking to her no doubt long, horsey teeth. The cow. The way she eventually pegged it (geddit? ho ho!) is fitting… Bette & Hels, that was well hot, but really, I’m going to have to talk to your distributor about those worrisome missing reels. Well then, onto the dearly nearly departed. I do hope Peggy’s real hired “help” (effing Buffy, changed my mind, she needed a killing… this is a horror tale after all. She was utterly disposable.) have managed to bring Shane and my favorite little twisted motherless fu… I mean, Jenny, back to normality before they fell apart to zombie mulch. Thanks for the chap, hb. Toodles!

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