On a cool and rainy October night, Shane lies awake in bed, absent mindedly running her hand along Molly’s bare back as she sleeps, as images of their passionate lovemaking just hours before run through her mind. A slight smile curves her lips as her mind wanders to the image of Molly writhing in ecstasy beneath her. Lightly brushing the hair from Molly’s forehead, she leans down and gently presses her lips to her skin, breathing in her scent as she does so. It had been so long since they were able to just enjoy each other it seemed. The past month flew by in a whirlwind of activity. Between school, Shay and planning for Phyllis’s wedding, they always seemed to be doing something. Shane was either taking pictures or trying to help Shay with his homework, while Molly was intently studying her law books and leafing through bridal magazines, generating ideas for her mother’s wedding. They always tried to make time for each other, but life seemed to get in the way. Whenever they managed to sneak a moment alone, Shay would knock on the door or Bella would bust in, wanting to be let out.
    As she lies there just watching Molly sleep, Shane realizes that she wouldn’t have traded a moment of it. Never in her life had she ever thought she could be so happy. Never had she thought that she would be so content to just snuggle up on the couch with Molly, watching Shay do his homework and Bella chewing on a bone. Never in her life had she ever loved so much or felt so loved. Her heart swelled, almost painfully, every time she thought of Shay and Molly. The love she felt for them had become so great, that she couldn’t imagine her life without them in it.
    Overcome by her love for the woman in her bed, Shane once again lowers her lips to Molly’s brow and gently kisses her, tasting the sweetness of her skin, before she quietly eases herself from the bed. She bends down to pick her tee shirt up off the floor and pulls it over her head. Quietly, she leaves the bedroom and makes her way to the kitchen. She flips the light switch in the kitchen, quickly averting her eyes from the brightness. Once her eyes have adjusted, she makes her way to the fridge, pulls out a beer and twists off the cap. Groggily, she makes her way over to the table, sits down and pulls a cigarette from the pack that is sitting there. She places it in her mouth and strikes the lighter. She takes a long drag from it and then follows it up with a swig from her beer bottle. Gingerly, she places both of them on the table, and then runs her hands through her hair.
    “Why can’t I sleep?” Shane mumbles to herself, rubbing her brow out of frustration and exhaustion. Just as she is about to take another drag of  her cigarette, she hears the knob on the back door begin to turn. Startled, she looks up to see Jenny in the doorway. “Fuck, Jen. You scared the shit outta me,” she says, returning her attention to the cigarette between her fingers.
    “Sorry,” Jenny replies. “What are you doing up so late?”
    “Can’t sleep,” Shane says, as she takes another sip from the bottle.
    Sitting down next to Shane, Jenny asks, “Why? What’s on your mind?”
    Looking towards her bedroom, Shane replies, “Nothing.”
    Jenny’s eyes become dark and narrow as she asks, “Is something going on with you and Molly? Is something wrong?”
    Taking a deep breath, Shane replies, somewhat whimsically,  as a smile crosses her lips, “No. Everything’s great.”
     “Then what’s wrong? Something is clearly bothering you.”
    Taking Jenny’s hand and looking her in the eyes, Shane replies, “It’s nothing. I don’t want to bother you with it.” Shane lets go of Jenny’s hand, grabs her beer and takes a long drink. She places the bottle on the table and begins to pick at the label.
    Jenny grabs the bottle from Shane’s hand and says, “Tell me.”
    “No. I can’t Jen. It wouldn’t be fair to you considering everything that has happened this past year.”
    “Yes, you can Shane. What happened, happened. We can’t change that. But what we can change is what we do now. You are still my very best friend and I hope you feel the same about me,” Jenny says sincerely.
    “You know I do,” Shane says, staring at the table. Bringing her eyes to meet Jenny’s gaze, Shane says, “It’s just–”
    “Just what, Shane?”
    “I’m afraid I’m gonna fuck it all up,” Shane says, slamming the pack of cigarettes against the table and pushing herself out of her chair. Jenny sits, legs folded Indian style in her chair, watching Shane pace the length of the kitchen. “I love them both so much, you know? And I– I just don’t trust myself. I fucking ruin everything good in my life all the time. I almost blew it with Molly once. I love her. I love her more than I ever thought I could love someone.” Shane pauses for a moment, but continues her slow pacing. “And I know that I want to be with her forever.”
    “You do?” Jenny asks, smiling, clasping her hands together and bringing them to her mouth.
    Shane gives Jenny a crooked smile and says, “Yeah, I do.”
    Jenny hops up from her chair, bounds over to Shane and wraps her in a bear hug. “Shane, that’s great!”
    “Yeah, but it’s also what scares me,” Shane says, pulling away from Jenny’s embrace. Placing her hands on the counter and leaning over the sink, her head hung low, Shane says, “I never expected to ever feel this way about someone. I never wanted to make a real commitment to someone like this before.”
    Placing her hand on Shane’s back, Jenny asks, “Commitment?”
    Spinning around, Shane says, “With Phyllis’s wedding coming up, all I keep thinking about is marriage. I never thought it would be for me, especially after the whole fucking thing with Carmen, but now? With Molly? I can’t help but want it, you know?”
    Nodding her head, Jenny asks, “And how does Molly feel about all this?”
    Laughing a bit, Shane says, “I think I freaked her out a few weeks ago with it. We haven’t talked about it since. But I know she loves me and wants to be with me.”
    Jenny moves to stand in front of Shane. She holds her face in her hands and says, “Shane, you deserve to be happy. If marrying Molly will make you happy, do it. But think about it first. Make sure that it’s what you want. You don’t want to hurt her like you did Carmen.”
    Dropping her head, Shane slightly nods, agreeing with Jenny’s advice. Jenny then gives Shane a quick peck on the top of her head before leaving as abruptly as she entered. Shane walks back over to the table, takes one last swig of her beer and extinguishes her cigarette. She turns off the lights and heads back to the bedroom. Crawling back into bed, she tries not to disturb Molly, but it seems that she has. Molly rolls over onto her back and Shane freezes for a moment, not wanting her to wake up. When she settles down, Shane pulls the sheet back over her and inches closer to Molly. She lays her head on Molly’s shoulder and drapes her arm across her stomach. Nuzzling her face against her breast, she closes her eyes and allows herself to finally drift off to sleep.