I walk down the road towards my old life.

I stand before the steps. Her car is not in the driveway. I walk up the steps and stand before the door. I fish the key out my bag. I put it in the lock and I turn the key. I open the door and walk in. Nothing has changed from last night. I take a look in the sink. Two glasses. She had a visitor. That feeling within the pit of the stomach comes back. I feel a sudden rage of anger and want to break something. I dont. I look in the garbage. A bottle of wine. She definitely had a visitor.
This is ridiculous. Just get your clothes and get out of here. I say to myself as I walk towards the bedroom. The bed is unmade. I notice that only one side has been slept in. I walk towards her side of the bed and pick up her pillow. I smell it – I take in her fragrance. I put the pillow down and sit on the bed. I start to doubt myself – am I doing the right thing here, shouldnt love overcome everything else? I put my head in my hands and sit like that for a while.
Tina? I hear a voice from a distance. I return to reality and look up. Bette is standing in the doorway. I look at her and feel such rage that I have to look away.
She walks towards me. I get up off the bed and turn to face her.
Dont come any closer. I dont want you to come any closer. I just came to pick up a few things. I thought you would be at work. I really hoped you would be at work. I walk past her towards the cupboard. She takes hold of my arm.
Wait, I just want to I pull my arm away.
You said everything last night. I said what I wanted to say and now Im here to pick up my stuff. I open the cupboard grab a bag and try to empty my side of the wardrobe as quickly as possible. I dont want to be in her company anymore because I know Im going to do something stupid and regret it. I see Bette walk towards the bed and sit down.
Who was here last night? I say – I wished I hadnt said it because I fear I dont want to know the answer.
Nobody. Bette whispers.
I turn around and look at her. I see that she looks tired. I feel a little sorrow for her. I want to go to her and tell her that Im sorry, that I can forgive her.
Youre lying. I turn back to the cupboard.
Tina, I am so sorry. I was overcome. I love you. It was a physical attraction. That was all. Its over. Please dont go. We can work this out.
I stare at the clothes that I havent packed in my bag. I cant turn around. I dont want her to see that I am crying. I dont hear her until I feel her hand on my shoulder.
Please dont go. I feel her other hand on my other shoulder. She slowly turns me around. I am facing her now. I look into her eyes. She comes towards me. I really want to kiss her.
Dont. I say. She lets go of my shoulders and steps back. She starts to cry. I turn back to the cupboard and finish packing my stuff. Her phone rings. I go to the bathroom and throw my toothbrush and other things into my bag. I hear her talking to someone.
I cant talk right now. Theres a pause. No, not right now. Ill phone you later. Another short pause. Yes, shes come to pick up her stuff.
I zip up the bag. I put it over my shoulder. I walk out of the bathroom towards the bedroom door. I dont even look at her. I walk out the bedroom into the living area and to the door. On the way to the door I put my key on the coffee table. I turn the handle and open the door.
Tina, please, lets talk. Bette says from the bedroom doorway.
That was her on the phone? I dont even turn around. She doesnt answer.
Im never going to see her again.
Of course you will, she works with you. My anger starts to come to the surface. I want to get out of there but I cant. I want her to say something that will make me drop my bag and walk towards her, hold her and kiss her.
Shes leaving soon. Another month.
Goodbye. I close the door behind me and walk down the steps. I question myself all the way. Did I do the right thing? I love her enough to fix it, dont I? I have no income. I have no job. I have just walked away from a life I have known for seven years. We have mutual friends. We are bound to bump into each other from time to time. Will I be able to handle those moments when we do see each other. Will I be able to handle her with another person. Will I feel jealousy and rage? Or will I see her and realise how I much I love her. How long will it take for me to get over her?

I get to Alices house and let myself in. My shoulder is killing me. I put my bag down and get something to drink. The phone rings. I pick it up without thinking.
Hi, Tina here. I say into the receiver.