I’m numb, is that supposed to happen? I haven’t felt a thing since he, I can’t think about that anymore today, and yet at the same time it plays over and over in my head like some kind of horror movie that won’t stop.

I see everything, smell his breath, I can hear his belt as he slides it off. The look in his eyes as he pushes up my dress.

I can’t even close my eyes to shut out the images because he’s there, smiling down at me.

Did I even get up off that floor or am I still lying there? Is this all just some strange dream?

Shane calls my name, I guess this is just a living nightmare since I seem to be awake.

“Hey you ok?”

I turn and see for the first time that she is tired, I cross the room and sit beside her.

“Thank you Shane really, for all that you’ve done, but I think I need to be alone for awhile and you…you need the rest…”

She shakes her head “No I’m fine and you need me here. I’m not going anywhere.

A yawn escapes her lips as she places her head on my shoulder.

“If you don’t wanna leave then go upstairs and take a nap .I’ll be fine besides Alice is already asleep and I think I need to be alone for awhile.

“Are you sure?”

A small smile dances across my face “Yeah go ahead, you need the sleep.”

She stands a light kiss is placed on my cheek, arms wrap around me and then my safety walks out of the room.

I sit here in the silence, hearing his voice in my ear, his laughter is the worst, like there was something funny about what happened.

The door bell makes me jump “Get a grip Dana” I walk over and open the door.

Tina’s standing there, a smile painted on her face “I brought you some chicken soup, Alice told me you weren’t feeling well.”

When did Alice talk to her, she didnt tell her did she? No she wouldnt do that to me.

I invite her in as I walk into the kitchen, she follows and we sit.

“You want some coffee or something?”

“Sure.”

I pour two cups and sit again. Nothing is being said, Tina keeps looking at me.

Why is she doing that? Oh god can she tell, can she see what he did? That I’m never going to be the same ever again.

“Dana you ok? You like you’re gonna be sick.”

I think she’s right, I am gonna be sick. I race to the bathroom and fall to the floor.

Tina holds back my hair and helps me up when I’m finished. She helps me into the living room we sit on the couch.

Again we don’t talk, her eyes are locked on me. Why does she keep doing that?

What would she do? I wonder if I tell her what would she say?

Would she tell me how sorry she was, would she look at me with the same sadness that Shane does?

Maybe she’d just hug me close and let me cry on her shoulder. I guess I’ll never know cause their never going to find out.

My god it hits me so hard that I can’t breathe, if Conrad gets arrested..their all going to find out.

Their all going to look at me with pity, I can’t take this. Please don’t start crying, Tina will know then that some things wrong.

My tears won’t be stopped, their all going to know, Lara oh god she’s going to know what he did and then she won’t love me anymore.

“Tina….” that’s all I get out before tears drown out the sound of my voice.

She’s hugging me, and I try to pull away from her, I don’t want to be touched right now.

“Dana what’s wrong?”

“I…can’t….Shane I need Shane.”

“I don’t know where she’s at honey.”

“Up….upstairs.”

She doesn’t want to leave me I can tell but Tina stands and runs up the steps.

I can’t breathe, their all gonna know, their all gonna know.

No I can’t let them find out, but how can I hide it? No they can’t know, but how can I stop them from finding out?