By B&TF

When I interviewed Laurel Holloman at L5 Convention in Blackpool, we talked about the adoption storyline that was introduced in season six of The L Word. Laurel, who had recently adopted a baby girl, said in that interview that the adoption storyline was partially based on her personal experience.

As she went through the adoption, Laurel learned that “it’s not so much the birth parents that are against the same-sex adoptions as some of their parents. No one would be in the situation where they were putting the baby up for adoption if they didn’t have a set of harsh circumstances ahead of them. So sometimes they’re dependent on their families, their parents or are already parenting other children.”

Laurel also added in our interview that she said to Ilene and Rose Troche that she would love to be a part of the adoption storyline as long as the birth mother was shown in the right light. Laurel said, “They did that and it was great. I have a lot of strong opinions because I just adopted. I did a conference call with the writers and I also set them up with our lawyer who does same-sex adoptions.”

I enjoyed that storyline up until the end of episode 607 when Marci didn’t show up at the bus stop. I just love happy endings and it was sad to see Bette and Tina getting so upset after they got their hopes up for adopting Marci’s boy.

I also learned a few interesting things through the adoption storyline that I personally didn’t know. I had to do some research to learn more about this issue because I had a vague idea about the adoption laws but I had no idea how different they were from state to state.

According to HRC legal resources, “twenty-two states and the District of Columbia have granted adoptions to gay and lesbian individuals as well as same-sex couples. It should be noted, however, that in some of these states they have been granted in certain counties only. They are: Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Vermont, Washington and Wisconsin.”

Here’s a little more detailed account of laws in different states that you can browse on HRC website (http://www.hrc.org/issues/parenting/adoptions/adoption_laws.asp).

“An individual adoption involves an unmarried person adopting a child from the child’s biological parent(s) or is in the custody of the state. Every state allows individual, unmarried adults to petition to adopt a child. Presumably, this includes GLBT individuals. The only state that explicitly prohibits unmarried gay, lesbian and bisexual people from adopting is Florida.

A joint adoption involves an unmarried couple adopting a child from the child’s biological parent(s) or is in the custody of the state. Many states allow a husband and wife to jointly petition to adopt a child. In these states it is unclear whether a same-sex couple would be permitted to file a joint petition to adopt. Same-sex couples, however, should check with the state adoption agencies to make sure. Some states, including California, Connecticut, Illinois, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Vermont and the District of Columbia, allow same-sex couples to jointly petition to adopt.

In several states, a person can petition to adopt the child of his or her partner or a child of the relationship. These are usually called second-parent or stepparent adoptions. In all adoptions, it is ultimately the decision of the judge whether to grant the adoption petition.”

There are few states that are really strict about same-sex adoptions. Mississippi prohibits same-sex couples from adoption. Utah forbids adoption by “a person who is cohabiting in a relationship that is not a legally valid and binding marriage”, making it legal for single people to adopt, regardless of sexual orientation, so long as they are not involved in non-marital relationships. This law, therefore, discriminates against same-sex couples because Utah only recognizes a marriage between a man and a woman as legally valid and binding marriage.

Florida is the only state that explicitly prohibits adoption by gay and lesbian individuals and same-sex couples. This law was questioned by Judge Cindy Lederman in November 2008. Judge Lederman said that this law violates equal protection rights for the children and their prospective gay parents. As of now, the state is appealing Judge’s decision, which is pending since August 2009. During the appeal, Florida state adoption application forms continue to require prospective adoptive parents to assert that they are strictly heterosexual.

In November 2008, Arkansas’ voters approved Act 1 that bans anyone living outside of a valid marriage from being foster parents or adopting children. Some believe that this Act was written to target gay couples because the same-sex couples are not allowed to marry legally, therefore the adoption for them is impossible.

Adoption of children by LGBT people continues to be an active issue. Some parties involved in the debate sometimes don’t even take the welfare of the children into consideration, blinded by their prejudice.

LGBT leaders and supporters are arguing that parenting ability is unrelated to sexual orientation and if LGBT individuals or couples can provide a loving home to children, the law should allow them to do it.

Opponents of adoption by LGBT parents suggest that “the greater prevalence of depression, promiscuity, domestic violence, and suicide among homosexuals might affect children or that the absence of male and female role models could cause maladjustment.” I think those opponents should check out numerous studies that have concluded that the parental abilities of lesbian mothers or gay men are similar to heterosexual individuals or couples.

Even the American Psychological Association and American Medical Association had supported adoption by same-sex couples, citing social prejudice as the only reason that prevents LGBT individuals or couples to adopt, and not some prevalence of bogus psychological malfunctioning.

The Adoption Institute released a report in 2003, analyzing and surveying adoption practices by gays and lesbians. One of the findings in this report stated that “lesbians and gays are adopting regularly, in notable and growing numbers, at both public and private agencies nationwide. 60% of adoption agencies accept applications from homosexuals. About 2 in 5 of all agencies in the country have placed children with adoptive parents whom they know to be gay or lesbian.”

One thing that this study found and that The L Word partially used in its storyline was the issue of birth parents. “About one-quarter of respondents said prospective birth parents have objected to placing their child with gays or lesbians, or have specifically requested their child not be placed with homosexuals. At the same time, nearly 15% of all agencies said birth parents had requested or chosen lesbian or gay prospective adoptive parents for their child on at least one occasion.”

National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) also provides a lot of interesting articles and legal documents on their website www.nclrights.org, explaining the legal recognition of LGBT families as parents. They provide definitions and explanations for such terms as legal parents, second parent adoption (and its variations in different states), parentage judgment, and custody/visitation situations.

If any of you out there are planning to adopt, check the HRC and NCLR websites, study the legal issues and the ways to adopt. Anything is possible and I wish success to all who is planning to adopt in the near future. Just stay away from Florida or Utah and you should be fine.