The sky is on fire with the early morning sun…it blinds and burns. It takes away the voices; it takes away the pain the white heat, the white light of this fire that surrounds me. All I can do is watch, watch as the city burns gold, and pink. As the flames disappear and the voices awaken.

Morning sunshine…how are you today? Did you get a good sleep? Did you dream of her again? You know she’s just right there, in that tall building in front of you. Why don’t you go see if you can make her forgive you…I’m always up for a laugh?

The smell of dried sweat, the hot humid air of the car makes its worse. My stomach turns, my blood runs hot and a chill runs along my spine. I’m so close…she’s right there just make it to her door step. Shut them out, make it all stop. Just don’t think, don’t feel…just breath. You have to fight this for her…just for today, just for right now.

I can barely open the door, I have to put all my strength into it…and I nearly fall on my face when I do get it open. The morning air cool, the air crisp and I breathe deeper and deeper trying to make this pass. Trying to tune the voices out. The hood of the car the only place I can lay down… fleeting thoughts of us together. Thoughts about time, death…love flashing through my mind.

Are you ready? Are you strong enough to do this Shane? Can you break her heart again? Can you let them go? Let her go? Are you ready for this Shane?

“Shane?” her voice it moves across the cold air, and I can barely see straight. This isn’t how I wanted this to happen. “What are you doing here Shane?”

I don’t really know…I don’t know anything anymore. Am I really this selfish? I want her…it’s that simple and that horrible. I’m here to say good bye and I don’t want to.

“Shane? What’s wrong?” she moves closer to me, and I can’t help but smile at the sound of worry in her voice. Her skin is smooth, her touch soft and I know her.