“Everything,” it leaves my lips in a whisper….I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.

Opening my eyes and the sky is blue again, the clouds are white. Her eyes are gold in the morning light… a soft brown normally. They go almost black when she’s angry. She has this scar on her right knee from her brother…it’s shaped like a crescent moon. She bites her lip when she’s nervous, play’s with her hair when she’s bored. She likes this spot on her neck to be kissed.

Is that what you want to do Shane? Fuck her? All this for a fuck? You should’ve done the nurse Shane…you could’ve saved yourself the trip. You know we might kill you today…when you’re here with her. What will she do then?

“Carmen?” she moves a step back as I sit up, she has on her baggy overalls. The ones that she would wear to garden…the ones she had on when I asked her to marry me. “Can we talk?”

How much time do I have? Days? hours? Minutes? Months? Seconds? Will it happen suddenly? Will it be slow? Will she cry? What am I doing?

“I don’t know Shane…” she looks at her feet, her hands in her back pocket. “What do want? Why are you here?why now?”

You’re here to save yourself Shane. Isn’t that what you’re doing? Isn’t she your angel…will she save you or kill you? Ha I think I know the answer to that Shane. She’s here so you won’t be alone…she’s here because you’re afraid. Are you scared to die Shane?

“I don’t know…. I missed you.” I can’t look at her, afraid that if I do I’ll lose my nerve. “I need to tell someone…and for some reason I think it has to be you.”